I went home for a lot of reasons:I wanted to be here for my mother's birthday.
I wanted some rest.
I wanted to be with Sen.
I wanted to rest.
I wanted to rest.

took time to take pics..
so here it is...
tomorrow I'm back in Mla,
but not before a short date with Sen for our one year and 7 months of togetherness...waah!!!
joke



HAMSTER AND SILVER-TONGUED LADY



BONITA
AMOR







PICTURES FROM HOME
(using the new samsung cam)

GOT A NEW CAM
hehehehe it arrived today...it will be used when i get home though and properly studied it hehehe

LOOKING FORWARD: to going home!!!! for mama's birthday and to hug my buddha belly (wink wink)

I came home for a Cheyenne and Christian's wedding, supposedly I was only to stay for 4 days but I extended it for a week, at mama's request.
Anyway, the trip was so much fun and I had days on end doing nothing but sleep, with the ocassional outing with sen and friends of course.

THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

The title caught my attention, "Why do I get jealous?"
hmmmm...

The article said

When one partner sees everyone whom his or her partner comes into contact with as a potential threat, it is
a sign that jealousy has taken hold
a sign that jealousy has taken hold. Shakespeare called it "the green-eyed monster," and once it gets a hold of your relationship, it sinks its teeth in and can rip it apart.

But the part I like the best was the possible reasons why one could be jealous:

You may feel insecure about your self-worth. In these cases, either you've been raised to believe, or some part of your inner self feels, that you just don't measure up. Because you don't love yourself, you can't believe that others would love you, so you live in fear that your partner's "true" feelings will be revealed and she will leave.

let me think.... nah!!!

You're prone to cheating on your partner -- maybe even have done so. Knowing what you're capable of, you project that behavior onto your partner.

let me think... nah!!!!

You and your partner haven't yet figured out how to
establish safe boundaries within the relationship
establish safe boundaries within the relationship. Having a tight bond is about building walls around your love with windows that allow others to be part of it -- not doors where competing lovers can walk right in and disrupt your home. Because you don't know what's permissible within the relationship and what's not, you're constantly on your toes.

let me think... nah!!!

Your mate is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't have to include sex; it often has to do with making emotional connections to others outside the relationship. If your partner is sharing things about your private life with attractive members of the opposite sex, it robs a sense of intimacy from your relationship and leaves you feeling vulnerable.

let me think... emotional connections of the past? or present?
hmmmm.... nah!

so why am i jealous?
because i see my partner as the one that will calm my irrational fears.
period.
bow.
after this, i sayeth naught.
bow.

puma and amor


nike

talked to my lil sis yesterday and she mentioned that my dearest par eksalans AMOR is "fat fat daw", so i asked her to send me some pics of the dogggies



bonita



AMOR!!!!

sniff sniff

my babies are getting older and i'm not there to take their pics
hahaha
miss them so...
one of and probably the only reason why i accepted sen's offer to go home...
not so much for the wedding, but for the babies
mwah!!!


FOR MY SEN:







i used to be a calculating woman, the one that tends to reason out, concoct things out of my imagination, imagine faults...but with you




my friends use to say after the failure of the first one




NOW I KNOW THIS



HON...




THAT BOY IS YOU



thanks hon

SEETHING

nothing seems to go right right these days...
from your bf to your readings to the weather...
a friend's shout-out in her friendster says it all, "life's a bitch. period."

weekend news:
watched Ocean's 13 with

BEN

hmmm,
the boylet called and mentioned about having a joint blog account...hmmm if only my drama about being hurt of him having those belats in his friendster were actually heeded, i would have, and still gladly join in....now, not so much

This blog is supposed to be for the new one....but then again, i decided otherwise after seeing his account....kainis!!!!


I LEARNED

* You know you've moved on when any news of your ex, which usually elicits an emotional response from you, does nothing to your senses.

* Appreciation of the other sex is fine. As long as no action is elicited from you. For ex. no invites in your friendster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

* You're never too jaded.

*Remnants of childhood fears, insecurities and joys re surface in the most inoportune time and/or delightful ways.

* Music makes me happy.

* Ice cream makes me really happy.

* The sound of my mother and sister's voice brings me immeasurable joy.

* I miss my dogs. waaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

* I don't feel the need to prove myself to my bf. I'd figured that one's bf, not particularly referring to my current, should be there to calm your irrational fears. Discussed or not. If the hints don't follow through, then why bother? I'd just be myself. If you disapprove, I won't argue, as I would have normally done in the past---just leave. But walk away with dignity, preferably.
The latter is your partner's choice. Not yours to ask, beg or expect. It measures of him as a man, not of me as a woman.

* Local radios are interesting here in mla. particularly the "boys night out" with DJ Logan. Fun!!!

* I can walk father, not just literally, than I could or would have in the past. Maturing? hmmmm....

* Friends are essential, bothersome and such joys in one heap.

* I've confirmed that I'm an optimist, not a stoic.

* I can curb my tongue.....sometimes. Trying.

* Never think or yourself or your partner as irreplaceable. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean.

* When value is questioned in a relationship, it's not your duty to reason or argue things out. Either he gets it or not. Period.

* My art appreciation grows more each day, and my obsession in one growing.

* I miss riding on bikes.

* I want to get lost somewhere with just my camera with me. I'll do this with my sis when I get back I suppose.

* I want to learn.

* The rain makes me happy and the heat makes me cranky.

* A glance can catch you in surprise of wanting to acknowledge one, but you don't.

* That praying makes me calm.

* That life has unexpected joys.

* People watching teaches you about your bigotry, values and sentiments.

* Saying "no", sometimes means, "I'll consider it."

* Saying "yes", sometimes means regret.

* White lies, intentional or not, especially omitted truths, when caught, makes me re-evaluate my relationship with you.

* Friendship can begin in unexpected ways.

* A smile can make a WHOLE lot of difference to bridge regional and language barriers.

* I know for a fact, that I'll always have a dog in my life, in my future children's lives, but nothing can replace AMOR'S balakang.

* Feeding me is a sure fire way of making me happy. Ice creams and desserts make happy.

* An answer which doesn't answer a question, well just raises my voice an octave higher than the usual.

* Saying "that's enough", is enough.

* Jealousy, even if thought of as a controlled emotion, is never controlled.

NEWS THAT MADE ME HAPPY:




Kawayan de Guia's photo exhibit with his brotheras..haaaaaaay, if i only i can drag someone to go with me...hmmmm, jas? hahaha

hmmmm....i've been here in UPD since april 14 and this is my paper count:

so far i've photocopied close or over a thousand pages..

bought 1 boook before i came to manila....

bought 1 book for int'l law...

bought 6 more UPLC's....

and hopefully get 8 more....

last ones promise...

i promised myself that by the first week of june, that i will have in my keeping all the essentials....

for a good old bonfire!!!!!!!

.........sooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn

i should have pursued higher learning in comparative lit......
but then again...
i'd probably be still unemployed right now...
jeez...

hmmm....

just deleted the last blog entry

i'm being tamed by the hamster

3 miscalls was all it took to make me answer the phone

i should have been more tough

maybe next time

There are a lot of things I get on the mail...from "lawyers" out of Africa asking me if I.m a relative of another Fernandez seaman who would want me to open up an account and share the "loot" as I call it... but this one made me laugh.

I am valentina, I am from Russia. I am dreaming to find my destiny in a
real man whom I can rely on and trust. Please, let me know if you're
interested in getting to know me better:

Reminded me of my gradeschool days when I had to wait for the teacher to finish with the class attendance...first the girls names... I'm never on that list...So when every girl in class is out, I'm still in the room with the boys; waiting for my name to be called---then the teacher remarks, "Ay, girl ka pala?!" Uh-huh!

U.P.D.
Hmmm...school sucked last week....I thought I had enough books to cover international law, considering the head of the Bar Exams this year is an expert in Int'l. Law and Consti Law (FYI: You need to study that more than the others for POLI), then we had to have Dean Magallona for our bar reviewer...

In short, malalim po ang coverage ng international law nya. WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
Sniff SNiff

My remedy? Buy his very thick book and actually read it cover to cover.
One more book added on my list of books to burn when I get home. (joke!)

Weekend:
Watched Fractured with

BEN

Now I know Double Jeopardy. hahaha

hmmmm...wala akong magawa....
kundi tumanga at mag blog na kunwari me laman...

i miss spending my days just taking photographs...
especialy my black and white ones...

sniff sniff

ME BEING LOST...IN THE WORDS OF YOGGI BERRA

I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.

If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

We're lost, but we're making great time!

We made too many wrong mistakes.

WHEN YOU'RE PISSED OFF AT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

Shut up and talk

ME TODAY:

Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting.

ABOUT THE LAW:

If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

I really didn't say everything I said.


I have a resolution today:

When I feel like blurting out profanities and pulling my hair out because of other pips, I take a deep breathe and say, "Patience Lord, Patience."

If this doesn't work out, I'll walk down the stairs.

Exercise pa yun di ba? hahahaha

there's nothing worse than having a bunch of kids hover over one single computer...
it's loud, rude and simply irritating..haaaaayyy....
how about getting one for each of you? the taglish is irritating and the "eeewwww"

sucks.



watch spidey with ben yesterday..ok na rin


but the boylet seemed a little tiff that i didn't hear him say that he watched spidey about the same time we did...hmmmmm, maybe i should also complain when he calls and answers "hmm!! uhhmm!! i'm tired."
ha ha

but i'm not in the mood to play the little spoiled gf...
especially these days...

maybe when i get back home

TO YOU WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAR MORE OF AN INDIVIDUAL THAN I AM,

THE THANKS OF A GRATEFUL PERSON,

THE LOVE OF A WOMAN, AND

THE HOPE THAT WE'LL LAST.

Basta indi lang mag pa ugtas hahahaha

Cool Slideshows

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

saw this in did's blog...

reading on hours on end seems to have taken their toll on me...i'm starting to feel sick of looking at the same faces and staying in the same room every single day....something tells me I'll be blogging more than I ever did, now that my life is so regimented. haaaay...

wanted to watch a movie, but my roommate is intent on topnotching the bar hehehehe
so i'm left with the feeling of wanting to pull my hair hehehe
hopefully i'll find one of the girls in a better mood for outside entertainment....

been wanting to jog around, considering this is U.P.D. where jogging is an obsession for some...if only i had the drive to have my fat ass running around and sweating like hell...hmmmm, living on the fourth floor of Kalinaw, walking a short distance everyday and staying on the fourth floor for review seems to suffice as my "exercise" around here....

read in a newspaper about a bunch of kids wanting to educate the electorate hmmmm
www.ivote.ph

anyway, sen's having his fun day today, company summer outing
waaaaaah!!!!
la lang

i'm just hungry

these made me smile:

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

SETTLED

After a few crying sessions on the phone and "teary days" shared with the girls, life in Diliman seems bearable. I no longer cry, sniff or blow my nose. hahahaha

If only I had someone to go to movies with on some days or even to Baclaran man lang or some other churches. Hmmmmm (Sino kaya ang lokong pwede? hahahaha)

PRAYERFUL LIFE

It's true what they say about bar reviewees, they become more religious than they've ever been in their life when their reviewing.
Hmmmmmm...

The routine of the day is this:
Review: starts either at 9am or 12 noon until 4pm or 7:30 or 8:30
Sundays are free!!! Thank God! And some days in any given month.

Stilll thinking about going home on July....might not.
But then again, A.M. may never call me again.
hehehehehehe

But he'll be here June. So we'll see.

In a few days I\ll change my template. Again, no promises.
After Ben commenting about my red-colored texts against my green background...well, it IS pathetic. hahaha

It's raining outside.
Would have been great to eat ice cream with him.

huhuhuhu
I can only hope. hehehehe

For now, a smile from a stranger will do,
or an unexpected text or
a call from a friend.
:-p

going to Mla on the 14th...
the bf is coming along but only for two days huhuhuhu

i guess we have to make do (sniff sniff)

i wonder what mla life would be again...i lived and studied in Diliman before, but God knows it's different this time...hmmmm

anyway, we got a studio-type condo-ish (if that's possible hehehe) in the heart of U.P. campus so everything's a walk-away drama...

i'll miss my dogs...

i'll miss ma and tsin...

i'll miss eating out with my boyfriend...hon, ice cream (wink wink *grin*)

i'll even miss the flower horns...imagine!!!!!

haaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy....

the things you do for a better life...
better pay.....
better shit to face hahahahaha

haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy....

i'll miss old Iloilo (sniff)

WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
RELATIONSHIPS>www.oprah.com
1. "Stop all shame, blame and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed."
— Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want
2. "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right."
— John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
3. "When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner."
— Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage
4. "With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star. You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused."
— Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First
5.
"All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks."
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love

Graduate Na Ko!!!

Next Target: Change my blogger template!!!! hehehe

I've been wanting to do so for awhile now but can't seem to do it at all. Oh well, I'll probably do it before I leave for Manila. For now, a movie with my boy let. hehehehe

THE YEAR THAT WAS 2006

I had the best year---so far---and many would probably agree with theirs…or not (tap on the shoulder).

The year started right with me last year, on the 5th of January 2006 I said yes to a man whose presence in my life has been a joy and a great blessing. (But more of that later hee hee)

Let’s see, where should I start?

OCT-NOV. 2005: Ok, it started with a night out after a terrible ordeal/emotional rollercoaster shit with my ex. Sheen and I decided to go out and have some fun---mostly I wanted the booze to drown in my sorrows. Met up with friends and suddenly a big guy comes up and takes a seat on our table! It turned out to be a guy named A.M.---the one Sheen has been texting to pick us up, but politely refused because he was “working” (I thought then---yeah right! Who works until 9 in the evening???!!! But I know better now----he DOES work until 9 sometimes later than that). Anyway, the only conversation we had that night was, me asking him “Is your friend gay?” and his answer of “Bisexual.” Yeah I know, memorable right? Hahahaha But I will say, that when I told him that a bunch of friends of mine were interested in going to a gay bar, that interested him. Geez. Anyway, the night turned into early morning so we had our goodbyes. Didn’t even drop us off!! Too busy driving some girl to Pavia. (Don’t ask)

What happens next?
(take a wild guess)

A friendster invite!!! So, I was opening my account and then I got an invite from a person named Sen. Didn’t know anybody named Sen, so I checked out the account. From the pictures posted, I recognized the guy---who else but A.M.!!! That snob from Flow!!!

So, I emailed him and said, “Asus!!! Abi ko kung sin-o, ikaw man lang gale.”Polite replies and me saying stuff like, ok see you around Flow when were out, text text.
It turned out we didn’t have each other’s number. So he gave his and I gave mine.

Then the texting began and there was nothing conventional about it. There were no, ok a few, passed messages, but most of it were the question and answer type.
From what’s the difference between fate and destiny to were the smurfs gay?
Go figure.

Somehow those messages were something I looked forward to everyday.
I thought to myself, “Not bad!! I was actually having a conversation with a man who thinks (take note: THINKS he’s smarter than I am hahaha). A strange feeling after having an ex who had everything to say but nothing worth remembering (mostly issues with his father). Nevertheless, this A.M. guy made me happy!!! Made me smile!!! Weird, but in a strangely comforting way.

Then the late night talks. The Secret dates. Christmas Eve call. New Year’s greeting. Then the fiesta.
At the time, the talk of the group was the love affair of Christian and Cheyenne.
I didn’t really know for sure then----just an inkling---that ours was going the same way.

JAN 5, 2006: Anyway, Che left on the 5th. A.M. and I went to the airport to see her off and left her with Christian. A.M. and I watched a movie---I think----and had dinner. On the way to Kebab, a teary-eyed/makabagdamdaming talk/while driving----in short pips, I said yes!! Oh wait, I kissed the guy---didn’t actually said yes. Hahahaha

That night, I changed my status in my friendster account as “In a Relationship.” Somehow I knew that it would be the last change I’d make in my status profile.

Then I read his blog about his feelings about me then---I could almost cry. :-p

FEB: This was to be our first Valentine together, we had dinner in Messe. But when he picked me up, he didn’t bring flowers!!! I thought, ok, wala man lang bang bulaklak for Valentines!!!! Geez. But he surprised me when he gave a necklace and a bracelet and a perfume by the end of the night. Sweet. When I told my barkada in law school---they were all like “Haaaay”. Hahahaha

Then on the 27th of February he came back from Manila just in time for my birthday!! He gave me a cute blue teddy bear which had a bracelet on it----I named it Mooshi. Hee Hee

Then summer of 2006: Took classes, pre-bar review with Lex. Then school started.

Then December of 2006: Cheyenne arrived from Thailand and announced that she and Christian are getting married. On the 1st of January 2007, the family of A.M. had a double celebration in their house, a fiesta and the engagement announcement. That was special because it was also the first time my mother and sister met A.M.’s family.

So what now?

Anniversary!!!!
Yup! Yup! A.M. and I just celebrated our first. So this blog is like a remembrance and a celebration of our one year together.

Hon, after the countless pictures (hahaha), the food cravings and gifts (hee hee)---Jun jun is still alive (bwahahaha). No, seriously.

I want to say 5 things why I love you:
a. First, you make me happy with your love, generosity and bootylicious body (wink wink).
b. You’re the one that calmed and continuously calms my irrational fears.
c. I can’t stay angry with you!!!! Weird. An Amazona like me should be the flag-bearer for all supladitas-domineering-babes (pagbigyan) in town!! But no…I’m forced---beyond logic and will----to say. “Ok, I’m not mad anymore.”
d. I like the fact that you accept me as I am. I may not be the girly/dresses/skirt-type of gal that you sometimes ask me to be, but still were together. Babaw to break up or lose an appetite just for that, noh? My say on it? Get over it!!!! You’ll be living with a power suit a.t.t.y. soon enough. Hahahaha
e. And lastly….hmmmmm… I love you because there is something sexy (ahem---figurative pa lang ni ha?!!!) about a man who has responsibilities and does it well and still spends all his free time with his woman. Me!!!!

MWAH!
A thousand more when we meet up!!!
Luv yah honey!!!

crap!!! tried switching to the new blogger account with gmail...it turns out the thing has a limited number only...punyets....oh well, more time to look for a decent skin for my blog...hopefully i get to change before the year ends...

oh well...time to check out other blogs then....and laugh at the "stupid ones."
haw haw de karabaw!!!

My bf and I like to hang out and surf the net. What we usually do is go on sites that have questionnaires and compare results. It's fun. And you get to know your partner better. Virginal or not (don't ask :-p)!!! hahahaha

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.