IN THE GRAPEVINE

2009-06-16T21:17:00.003+08:00

the birth of nike's pups came as a complete surprise
when my sister kept insisting that nike looked like she was pregnant again,
i dismissed it as another pseudo-pregnancy again

but a week ago, ma excitedly phoned me and announced that
nike indeed, gave birth to four healthy, viable pups

so the next question was, "who's the father?"

no doubt,
a native son of a witch shagged nike
and to boot, it was our helper boy's bastard from a witch-mother that did it

tsk tsk

i asked nike, "who's going to feed your pups?"
and as if she understood, she bowed her head
in embarrassment

tsk tsk

but all is forgiven, especially since the pups turned out cuter
than we expected them to be
(more pics soon)

2009-06-08T19:47:00.000+08:00

2008-12-25T22:53:00.005+08:00

sometimes when you least expect it, your dreams come true
sometimes when you think life kinda sucks, someone comes along who reminds you----
of the many things to be grateful for, of the possibilities life bring,
of that which "can be" and more

hon:

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.

Ann Landers Says Truth Is Stranger..., 1968

though at times i'm crANKy, demanding and insist on you following my commands with a smile----you still make me happy

All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different--john berger.

merry Christmas...
our first, of many
;-p

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson

2008-08-26T11:19:00.004+08:00

whew! finally remembered by password in blogger!! hee hee

after weeks on end, maybe months since i last posted i've finally made one today.....sort of....

wedding preps are slowly, but surely getting along....the invitations will probably be given out by the 2nd week of sept (hopefully)

the caterers, cakes, photographers, and videographers are booked....the tickets bought na

little details are still being discussed: host, entertainment during the reception, stuff....

anyway, just got back from a quick bakasyon with xtian and che and hubby-to-be

went to macau and hk for four days....macau was fun and exciting
went to the usuals, venetian hotel, grand lisboa, macau tower, fisherman's wharf, maritime museum, ah ma temple.....

hk disneyland was ok (was expecting big rides, but alas, only for kiddies)......mong kok night market was ok, the prices are unreasonable so only bought a few pasalubongs

bought a few books....at least now my collection of joostein garner books are almost completed....just finished orange girl (sweet), through the glass, darkly (sad) and now i'm reading the ringmaster's daughter (something am is interested to read after me)

now: working

more pics to be posted soon ;-p

2008-05-03T16:30:00.003+08:00

SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING-SOMETHING

It's been while since I last posted, several things have happened:

*taught English for 3 months to foreign students in a language center. In the beginning it was ok and fun, after awhile you feel "stupid" and feel like having a "nosebleed". But it haD it's moments, especially with the kids. Love them!!! They were such personalities and much much better students than the adults.

* Just finished learning French 1 in a language center here in Iloilo. The schedule was M-W-F, and if you're working like we do, it can be exhausting. But the new friends we have acquired and the fabulous teacher Mademoiselle Melissa has made it all worthwhile. Next move...French2

* We are now preparing the wedding, although A.M. still has to be confirmed by third week of may, which I, the ever dutiful girlet will also take hehehe

* Now making plans, although everything is informal, about several trips on certain places in the coming months.

*Try (ahem) to work out starting Monday. I knew I was gaining weight lately, but there's nothing fabulous in seeing a picture of your fat face. It's almost depressing. Oh well, nothing to do next but to get a good work out.

* We're thinking of buying a new SLR cam, a very nice and expensive one. A.M. says we'll probably get my EOS first before we get his more expensive NIKON. Anyway, after paying for the wedding, we can buy all the gadgets and stuff we want. Naks! Mayaman kunwari!

* I have several dozen books bought from Diliman, Powerbooks, National and several other bookstores around town....many I have read, but a lot more I haven't. Anyway, my last read was....... The One Minute Manager. Pretty effective I think.

* Saw more movies lately, but I still wish for more.

*I'm now working with A.M.'s company in their purchasing department, specifically importation. It entails trips to LOBOK, PPA, Customs and paperworks galore. I'' bring my camera around next time.

* Now loving the sound of PUPIL.

THINGS TO DO:

-look around for stuff for our Filipiniana-inspired wedding

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.....I can feel a headache coming

:-)

P.S. Pictures? Some other time

MyHotComments

for someone who likes star wars: enjoy
hahaha

2008-02-06T09:37:00.000+08:00

www.bigview.com

Who were you in your last life?

Your past life diagnosis: I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Yugoslavia around the year 750. Your profession was that of a entertainer, musician, poet or temple-dancer. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You were a sane, practical person, a materialist with no spiritual consciousness. Your simple wisdom helped the weaker and the poor. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your lesson is to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret. Do you remember now?

i don't. hahaha
none of those professions seem to suit me now...oh well, past is past.
haha
;-)

2008-01-09T17:22:00.000+08:00

In the coming months I'm sure the wedding preparations would start getting on my nerves and make me wonder why I said yes in the first place ;-p I have never been the type to envision or dream about my own wedding, but I knew ever since I had boobs (ahem) that my honeymoon would be better if not more fabulous than my wedding day. Hon? hahahaha

It's January now, soon enough results will be out. Some of the girls are scared of it, I'm not. If it's meant for you, then so be it. If not, the universe has a grander thing prepared for you. I believe that.

FOR YOU:
My dearest C.C./B.B./P.P.

Each day you are life's grand gift to me. The realization that love is indeed one's destiny; that life has become more fuller, and things more realized than it has ever been because you are holding my hand. You have thanked me before for saying yes, in the beginning and with the proposal---but know that I too have a lot to be thankful for. They say we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone---we find it with one another....I have found mine with you. I love you Sen. Mwah!

2007-11-28T17:37:00.000+08:00

TO MY SOON TO-BE-OTHER-HALF

jason Mraz - I'm yours

I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT HEARING THE "WILL YOU MARRY PART" BUT CONSOLE YOURSELF WITH THE FACT THAT MY "YES" WAS RESOUNDING ENOUGH. HEHEHE

CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU...
THOUGH IT WILL TAKE A FEW MORE MONTHS BEFORE THE OFFICIAL "I DO,"
BUT KNOW THAT I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! HAHAHA
LOVE YOU.

leaalonga - two words

2007-10-31T08:52:00.000+08:00

PART 1: The Last Six MOnths

A couple of things happened the last six months...most I can't remember anymore. hehehe so i figured the pictures will do...nothing in particular order of course, since nothing in my life is.

This was when I came home one time from review in manila, sen and I went to Roxas to meet his Lola and had fun taking pictures in his Tita's beautiful house in Roxas. 'Twas fun.

SOME OF MY FAVE PICS OF SEN:

Lunch by the Beach in Roxas

LEAVING

When you're homesick you tend to look for the usual ek ek's that remind you of the old and the familiar ek eks of home...so it's just fab that I have a boylet that can send me stuff hehehe
am i making sense? sorry, writing this after waking up early to help my sis get her passport...hay!!!

BAR!!!!
Judge Deloria came to visit us and we were the only one's he lectured before tax exam. hehehe we're his fave's heheh

LAST SUNDAY:

me artista? hehe

BAR OPS

with my buddha belly...beer soaked and all hahaha

AFTER THE BAR

ALL SEN:

The garden near the national museum...i think

SAME PICL, BUT LOOK HOW WE DIFFER

FINALLY

IN CASE U GUYS ARE WONDERING WHY THE PICS ARE ALL SEN...well, i was taking his pics, while he was taking mine...i wonder if he took better shots than i did....i doubt....

prove me wrong chubby cheeks
hehe
;-p

2007-10-16T17:39:00.000+08:00

bought a LOMO recently but still haven't had the time to post anything or to explore its potential....hmm maybe after i've posted a blog about my 5 month stint in mla, but even that will take awhile....boylet is coming...gotta go and powder my nose hahaha

2007-08-04T14:23:00.000+08:00

I went home for a lot of reasons:I wanted to be here for my mother's birthday.
I wanted some rest.
I wanted to be with Sen.
I wanted to rest.
I wanted to rest.

took time to take pics..
so here it is...
tomorrow I'm back in Mla,
but not before a short date with Sen for our one year and 7 months of togetherness...waah!!!
joke

HAMSTER AND SILVER-TONGUED LADY

BONITA
AMOR

PICTURES FROM HOME
(using the new samsung cam)

2007-07-22T15:35:00.000+08:00

GOT A NEW CAM
hehehehe it arrived today...it will be used when i get home though and properly studied it hehehe

LOOKING FORWARD: to going home!!!! for mama's birthday and to hug my buddha belly (wink wink)

2007-07-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

I came home for a Cheyenne and Christian's wedding, supposedly I was only to stay for 4 days but I extended it for a week, at mama's request.
Anyway, the trip was so much fun and I had days on end doing nothing but sleep, with the ocassional outing with sen and friends of course.

2007-06-25T15:21:00.000+08:00

THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

The title caught my attention, "Why do I get jealous?"
hmmmm...

The article said

When one partner sees everyone whom his or her partner comes into contact with as a potential threat, it is
a sign that jealousy has taken hold
a sign that jealousy has taken hold. Shakespeare called it "the green-eyed monster," and once it gets a hold of your relationship, it sinks its teeth in and can rip it apart.

But the part I like the best was the possible reasons why one could be jealous:

You may feel insecure about your self-worth. In these cases, either you've been raised to believe, or some part of your inner self feels, that you just don't measure up. Because you don't love yourself, you can't believe that others would love you, so you live in fear that your partner's "true" feelings will be revealed and she will leave.

let me think.... nah!!!

You're prone to cheating on your partner -- maybe even have done so. Knowing what you're capable of, you project that behavior onto your partner.

let me think... nah!!!!

You and your partner haven't yet figured out how to
establish safe boundaries within the relationship
establish safe boundaries within the relationship. Having a tight bond is about building walls around your love with windows that allow others to be part of it -- not doors where competing lovers can walk right in and disrupt your home. Because you don't know what's permissible within the relationship and what's not, you're constantly on your toes.

let me think... nah!!!

Your mate is cheating on you. Cheating doesn't have to include sex; it often has to do with making emotional connections to others outside the relationship. If your partner is sharing things about your private life with attractive members of the opposite sex, it robs a sense of intimacy from your relationship and leaves you feeling vulnerable.

let me think... emotional connections of the past? or present?
hmmmm.... nah!

so why am i jealous?
because i see my partner as the one that will calm my irrational fears.
period.
bow.
after this, i sayeth naught.
bow.

2007-06-16T17:29:00.000+08:00

puma and amor

nike

talked to my lil sis yesterday and she mentioned that my dearest par eksalans AMOR is "fat fat daw", so i asked her to send me some pics of the dogggies

bonita

AMOR!!!!

sniff sniff

my babies are getting older and i'm not there to take their pics
hahaha
miss them so...
one of and probably the only reason why i accepted sen's offer to go home...
not so much for the wedding, but for the babies
mwah!!!

FOR MY SEN:

i used to be a calculating woman, the one that tends to reason out, concoct things out of my imagination, imagine faults...but with you

my friends use to say after the failure of the first one

NOW I KNOW THIS

HON...

THAT BOY IS YOU

thanks hon

2007-06-12T16:13:00.000+08:00

SEETHING

nothing seems to go right right these days...
from your bf to your readings to the weather...
a friend's shout-out in her friendster says it all, "life's a bitch. period."

weekend news:
watched Ocean's 13 with

BEN

hmmm,
the boylet called and mentioned about having a joint blog account...hmmm if only my drama about being hurt of him having those belats in his friendster were actually heeded, i would have, and still gladly join in....now, not so much

This blog is supposed to be for the new one....but then again, i decided otherwise after seeing his account....kainis!!!!

I LEARNED

* You know you've moved on when any news of your ex, which usually elicits an emotional response from you, does nothing to your senses.

* Appreciation of the other sex is fine. As long as no action is elicited from you. For ex. no invites in your friendster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

* You're never too jaded.

*Remnants of childhood fears, insecurities and joys re surface in the most inoportune time and/or delightful ways.

* Music makes me happy.

* Ice cream makes me really happy.

* The sound of my mother and sister's voice brings me immeasurable joy.

* I miss my dogs. waaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

* I don't feel the need to prove myself to my bf. I'd figured that one's bf, not particularly referring to my current, should be there to calm your irrational fears. Discussed or not. If the hints don't follow through, then why bother? I'd just be myself. If you disapprove, I won't argue, as I would have normally done in the past---just leave. But walk away with dignity, preferably.
The latter is your partner's choice. Not yours to ask, beg or expect. It measures of him as a man, not of me as a woman.

* Local radios are interesting here in mla. particularly the "boys night out" with DJ Logan. Fun!!!

* I can walk father, not just literally, than I could or would have in the past. Maturing? hmmmm....

* Friends are essential, bothersome and such joys in one heap.

* I've confirmed that I'm an optimist, not a stoic.

* I can curb my tongue.....sometimes. Trying.

* Never think or yourself or your partner as irreplaceable. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean.

* When value is questioned in a relationship, it's not your duty to reason or argue things out. Either he gets it or not. Period.

* My art appreciation grows more each day, and my obsession in one growing.

* I miss riding on bikes.

* I want to get lost somewhere with just my camera with me. I'll do this with my sis when I get back I suppose.

* I want to learn.

* The rain makes me happy and the heat makes me cranky.

* A glance can catch you in surprise of wanting to acknowledge one, but you don't.

* That praying makes me calm.

* That life has unexpected joys.

* People watching teaches you about your bigotry, values and sentiments.

* Saying "no", sometimes means, "I'll consider it."

* Saying "yes", sometimes means regret.

* White lies, intentional or not, especially omitted truths, when caught, makes me re-evaluate my relationship with you.

* Friendship can begin in unexpected ways.

* A smile can make a WHOLE lot of difference to bridge regional and language barriers.

* I know for a fact, that I'll always have a dog in my life, in my future children's lives, but nothing can replace AMOR'S balakang.

* Feeding me is a sure fire way of making me happy. Ice creams and desserts make happy.

* An answer which doesn't answer a question, well just raises my voice an octave higher than the usual.

* Saying "that's enough", is enough.

* Jealousy, even if thought of as a controlled emotion, is never controlled.

NEWS THAT MADE ME HAPPY:

Kawayan de Guia's photo exhibit with his brotheras..haaaaaaay, if i only i can drag someone to go with me...hmmmm, jas? hahaha

2007-05-25T15:59:00.000+08:00

hmmmm....i've been here in UPD since april 14 and this is my paper count:

so far i've photocopied close or over a thousand pages..

bought 1 boook before i came to manila....

bought 1 book for int'l law...

bought 6 more UPLC's....

and hopefully get 8 more....

last ones promise...

i promised myself that by the first week of june, that i will have in my keeping all the essentials....

for a good old bonfire!!!!!!!

.........sooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn

i should have pursued higher learning in comparative lit......
but then again...
i'd probably be still unemployed right now...
jeez...

2007-05-24T17:13:00.000+08:00

hmmm....

just deleted the last blog entry

i'm being tamed by the hamster

3 miscalls was all it took to make me answer the phone

i should have been more tough

maybe next time

2007-05-22T15:55:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of things I get on the mail...from "lawyers" out of Africa asking me if I.m a relative of another Fernandez seaman who would want me to open up an account and share the "loot" as I call it... but this one made me laugh.

I am valentina, I am from Russia. I am dreaming to find my destiny in a
real man whom I can rely on and trust. Please, let me know if you're
interested in getting to know me better:

Reminded me of my gradeschool days when I had to wait for the teacher to finish with the class attendance...first the girls names... I'm never on that list...So when every girl in class is out, I'm still in the room with the boys; waiting for my name to be called---then the teacher remarks, "Ay, girl ka pala?!" Uh-huh!

U.P.D.
Hmmm...school sucked last week....I thought I had enough books to cover international law, considering the head of the Bar Exams this year is an expert in Int'l. Law and Consti Law (FYI: You need to study that more than the others for POLI), then we had to have Dean Magallona for our bar reviewer...

In short, malalim po ang coverage ng international law nya. WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
Sniff SNiff

My remedy? Buy his very thick book and actually read it cover to cover.
One more book added on my list of books to burn when I get home. (joke!)

Weekend:
Watched Fractured with

BEN

Now I know Double Jeopardy. hahaha

2007-05-13T18:59:00.000+08:00

hmmmm...wala akong magawa....
kundi tumanga at mag blog na kunwari me laman...

i miss spending my days just taking photographs...
especialy my black and white ones...

sniff sniff

2007-05-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

ME BEING LOST...IN THE WORDS OF YOGGI BERRA

I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.

If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

We're lost, but we're making great time!

We made too many wrong mistakes.

WHEN YOU'RE PISSED OFF AT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

Shut up and talk

ME TODAY:

Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting.

ABOUT THE LAW:

If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

I really didn't say everything I said.

I have a resolution today:

When I feel like blurting out profanities and pulling my hair out because of other pips, I take a deep breathe and say, "Patience Lord, Patience."

If this doesn't work out, I'll walk down the stairs.

Exercise pa yun di ba? hahahaha

2007-05-07T17:17:00.000+08:00

there's nothing worse than having a bunch of kids hover over one single computer...
it's loud, rude and simply irritating..haaaaayyy....
how about getting one for each of you? the taglish is irritating and the "eeewwww"

sucks.

watch spidey with ben yesterday..ok na rin

but the boylet seemed a little tiff that i didn't hear him say that he watched spidey about the same time we did...hmmmmm, maybe i should also complain when he calls and answers "hmm!! uhhmm!! i'm tired."
ha ha

but i'm not in the mood to play the little spoiled gf...
especially these days...

maybe when i get back home

2007-05-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

TO YOU WHO HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAR MORE OF AN INDIVIDUAL THAN I AM,

THE THANKS OF A GRATEFUL PERSON,

THE LOVE OF A WOMAN, AND

THE HOPE THAT WE'LL LAST.

Basta indi lang mag pa ugtas hahahaha

Cool Slideshows

2007-04-29T17:10:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

saw this in did's blog...

reading on hours on end seems to have taken their toll on me...i'm starting to feel sick of looking at the same faces and staying in the same room every single day....something tells me I'll be blogging more than I ever did, now that my life is so regimented. haaaay...

wanted to watch a movie, but my roommate is intent on topnotching the bar hehehehe
so i'm left with the feeling of wanting to pull my hair hehehe
hopefully i'll find one of the girls in a better mood for outside entertainment....

been wanting to jog around, considering this is U.P.D. where jogging is an obsession for some...if only i had the drive to have my fat ass running around and sweating like hell...hmmmm, living on the fourth floor of Kalinaw, walking a short distance everyday and staying on the fourth floor for review seems to suffice as my "exercise" around here....

read in a newspaper about a bunch of kids wanting to educate the electorate hmmmm
www.ivote.ph

anyway, sen's having his fun day today, company summer outing
waaaaaah!!!!
la lang

i'm just hungry

these made me smile:

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

2007-04-27T18:07:00.000+08:00

SETTLED

After a few crying sessions on the phone and "teary days" shared with the girls, life in Diliman seems bearable. I no longer cry, sniff or blow my nose. hahahaha

If only I had someone to go to movies with on some days or even to Baclaran man lang or some other churches. Hmmmmm (Sino kaya ang lokong pwede? hahahaha)

PRAYERFUL LIFE

It's true what they say about bar reviewees, they become more religious than they've ever been in their life when their reviewing.
Hmmmmmm...

The routine of the day is this:
Review: starts either at 9am or 12 noon until 4pm or 7:30 or 8:30
Sundays are free!!! Thank God! And some days in any given month.

Stilll thinking about going home on July....might not.
But then again, A.M. may never call me again.
hehehehehehe

But he'll be here June. So we'll see.

In a few days I\ll change my template. Again, no promises.
After Ben commenting about my red-colored texts against my green background...well, it IS pathetic. hahaha

It's raining outside.
Would have been great to eat ice cream with him.

huhuhuhu
I can only hope. hehehehe

For now, a smile from a stranger will do,
or an unexpected text or
a call from a friend.
:-p

2007-04-10T17:56:00.000+08:00

going to Mla on the 14th...
the bf is coming along but only for two days huhuhuhu

i guess we have to make do (sniff sniff)

i wonder what mla life would be again...i lived and studied in Diliman before, but God knows it's different this time...hmmmm

anyway, we got a studio-type condo-ish (if that's possible hehehe) in the heart of U.P. campus so everything's a walk-away drama...

i'll miss my dogs...

i'll miss ma and tsin...

i'll miss eating out with my boyfriend...hon, ice cream (wink wink *grin*)

i'll even miss the flower horns...imagine!!!!!

haaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy....

the things you do for a better life...
better pay.....
better shit to face hahahahaha

haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy....

i'll miss old Iloilo (sniff)

WHAT I LEARNED TODAY:
RELATIONSHIPS>www.oprah.com
1. "Stop all shame, blame and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed."
— Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want
2. "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right."
— John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
3. "When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner."
— Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage
4. "With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star. You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused."
— Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First
5.
"All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks."
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love

2007-03-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

Graduate Na Ko!!!

Next Target: Change my blogger template!!!! hehehe

I've been wanting to do so for awhile now but can't seem to do it at all. Oh well, I'll probably do it before I leave for Manila. For now, a movie with my boy let. hehehehe

2007-01-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

THE YEAR THAT WAS 2006

I had the best year---so far---and many would probably agree with theirs…or not (tap on the shoulder).

The year started right with me last year, on the 5th of January 2006 I said yes to a man whose presence in my life has been a joy and a great blessing. (But more of that later hee hee)

Let’s see, where should I start?

OCT-NOV. 2005: Ok, it started with a night out after a terrible ordeal/emotional rollercoaster shit with my ex. Sheen and I decided to go out and have some fun---mostly I wanted the booze to drown in my sorrows. Met up with friends and suddenly a big guy comes up and takes a seat on our table! It turned out to be a guy named A.M.---the one Sheen has been texting to pick us up, but politely refused because he was “working” (I thought then---yeah right! Who works until 9 in the evening???!!! But I know better now----he DOES work until 9 sometimes later than that). Anyway, the only conversation we had that night was, me asking him “Is your friend gay?” and his answer of “Bisexual.” Yeah I know, memorable right? Hahahaha But I will say, that when I told him that a bunch of friends of mine were interested in going to a gay bar, that interested him. Geez. Anyway, the night turned into early morning so we had our goodbyes. Didn’t even drop us off!! Too busy driving some girl to Pavia. (Don’t ask)

What happens next?
(take a wild guess)

A friendster invite!!! So, I was opening my account and then I got an invite from a person named Sen. Didn’t know anybody named Sen, so I checked out the account. From the pictures posted, I recognized the guy---who else but A.M.!!! That snob from Flow!!!

So, I emailed him and said, “Asus!!! Abi ko kung sin-o, ikaw man lang gale.”Polite replies and me saying stuff like, ok see you around Flow when were out, text text.
It turned out we didn’t have each other’s number. So he gave his and I gave mine.

Then the texting began and there was nothing conventional about it. There were no, ok a few, passed messages, but most of it were the question and answer type.
From what’s the difference between fate and destiny to were the smurfs gay?
Go figure.

Somehow those messages were something I looked forward to everyday.
I thought to myself, “Not bad!! I was actually having a conversation with a man who thinks (take note: THINKS he’s smarter than I am hahaha). A strange feeling after having an ex who had everything to say but nothing worth remembering (mostly issues with his father). Nevertheless, this A.M. guy made me happy!!! Made me smile!!! Weird, but in a strangely comforting way.

Then the late night talks. The Secret dates. Christmas Eve call. New Year’s greeting. Then the fiesta.
At the time, the talk of the group was the love affair of Christian and Cheyenne.
I didn’t really know for sure then----just an inkling---that ours was going the same way.

JAN 5, 2006: Anyway, Che left on the 5th. A.M. and I went to the airport to see her off and left her with Christian. A.M. and I watched a movie---I think----and had dinner. On the way to Kebab, a teary-eyed/makabagdamdaming talk/while driving----in short pips, I said yes!! Oh wait, I kissed the guy---didn’t actually said yes. Hahahaha

That night, I changed my status in my friendster account as “In a Relationship.” Somehow I knew that it would be the last change I’d make in my status profile.

Then I read his blog about his feelings about me then---I could almost cry. :-p

FEB: This was to be our first Valentine together, we had dinner in Messe. But when he picked me up, he didn’t bring flowers!!! I thought, ok, wala man lang bang bulaklak for Valentines!!!! Geez. But he surprised me when he gave a necklace and a bracelet and a perfume by the end of the night. Sweet. When I told my barkada in law school---they were all like “Haaaay”. Hahahaha

Then on the 27th of February he came back from Manila just in time for my birthday!! He gave me a cute blue teddy bear which had a bracelet on it----I named it Mooshi. Hee Hee

Then summer of 2006: Took classes, pre-bar review with Lex. Then school started.

Then December of 2006: Cheyenne arrived from Thailand and announced that she and Christian are getting married. On the 1st of January 2007, the family of A.M. had a double celebration in their house, a fiesta and the engagement announcement. That was special because it was also the first time my mother and sister met A.M.’s family.

So what now?

Anniversary!!!!
Yup! Yup! A.M. and I just celebrated our first. So this blog is like a remembrance and a celebration of our one year together.

Hon, after the countless pictures (hahaha), the food cravings and gifts (hee hee)---Jun jun is still alive (bwahahaha). No, seriously.

I want to say 5 things why I love you:
a. First, you make me happy with your love, generosity and bootylicious body (wink wink).
b. You’re the one that calmed and continuously calms my irrational fears.
c. I can’t stay angry with you!!!! Weird. An Amazona like me should be the flag-bearer for all supladitas-domineering-babes (pagbigyan) in town!! But no…I’m forced---beyond logic and will----to say. “Ok, I’m not mad anymore.”
d. I like the fact that you accept me as I am. I may not be the girly/dresses/skirt-type of gal that you sometimes ask me to be, but still were together. Babaw to break up or lose an appetite just for that, noh? My say on it? Get over it!!!! You’ll be living with a power suit a.t.t.y. soon enough. Hahahaha
e. And lastly….hmmmmm… I love you because there is something sexy (ahem---figurative pa lang ni ha?!!!) about a man who has responsibilities and does it well and still spends all his free time with his woman. Me!!!!

MWAH!
A thousand more when we meet up!!!
Luv yah honey!!!

2006-12-18T17:31:00.000+08:00

crap!!! tried switching to the new blogger account with gmail...it turns out the thing has a limited number only...punyets....oh well, more time to look for a decent skin for my blog...hopefully i get to change before the year ends...

oh well...time to check out other blogs then....and laugh at the "stupid ones."
haw haw de karabaw!!!

2006-12-17T17:09:00.000+08:00

My bf and I like to hang out and surf the net. What we usually do is go on sites that have questionnaires and compare results. It's fun. And you get to know your partner better. Virginal or not (don't ask :-p)!!! hahahaha

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2006-12-10T17:17:00.000+08:00

hmmmppp!!! doesn't he know how to text back?!!!

haaaay arsenio.

what do i want to do now?
to see equestrian theatre zingaro in paris. *sigh*

Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.com

2006-11-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

tax sucks!!!!!

civil, ok.

two down. two to go.

crim and mercantile next...

where's that vodka goin?!!!!

shucks!!!!!
chaka khan na 'to!!!

2006-11-14T17:58:00.000+08:00

YEY!!! Just finished with my first of four sundays for compre exams. It's like taking the bar...which feels like hell and easy-smooth ride sometimes.What the heck, anything to make us pass the bar in our first try. If only with a hand stretched over your book and voila! Verbatim galore! hahahaha Yeah right!

Anyways, life is still good.

Gotta cram for Civil!!! and the dreaded tax

:-p

2006-10-25T18:52:00.000+08:00

I SEE BLUE

COMPRE EXAMS!!!!

SUcks!!!!

You can feel it..the jitters of the pips in school are starting to get to them.

If I wasn't one of those who'll also take the exams, I'd find the whole thing funny....but I don't. Crap.

November 12...the dreaded start of the four sundays of "mock" bar exams. Shucks.

My only prayer is that I'll have something to make "hugot" when I start answering my exams. Haaaaayy....

For now...dinner with A.M.'s bestfriend and his gf....this should be interesting

:-p

2006-10-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i've last blog....most of the time i'm busy pretending to be a studious and consciencious student that i'm not....and the other times too busy being around my bf...not lately though...but that's alright

had the weirdest dream last night...
i was with my law school barkada suddenly found myself holding hands and smacking with a friend...it was raining and he was kinda my bf for the night...weird

also weird is the fact that i had my first int'l. phone spat (of the least gravity i assure you) with my boyfriend....suplado bi mo

hehehe

it was all his fault :-p
...i'm sure he'd deny...again...

but honey...
really...
d bla sala mo man gd coz you had a short fuse?
(my halo spinning)

mwah!
miss you na!!!!

2006-09-18T20:03:00.000+08:00

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Bf's off somewhere on the planet and i'm stuck in this little town waiting!!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Miss him.
He's tugging my lil old heart...wherever he is.

Cool Slideshows

2006-07-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

so many things to be greatful for in life....even with the hectic sched in school...sometimes i catch myself drifting...not turning a page coz my mind's wandering already...then i check the net...i read how other's update their blogs and i see the beautiful pics they take (like jas and her personal voyages)....and i wonder what the hell i'm doing burying my nose on a thousand page law book....then the day ends and i wait up for my boyfriend...and then i see why god has been good to me....my last relationship ended badly...i suppose all loves end in a bad way but mine was particularly hard....i'm still reeling sometimes and i wonder if sen will do the same....but then i see him...and i see all the reasons why my first one didn't work out...i wasn't dating a man... i was dating a little boy trapped in 28-year-old body

i'm happy now....i wake up and i think of sen...always the first thing i think about...i miss him when i'm not with him...my mind drifts and then i remember our talks....the pics we take...the books we read...the movies we're about to see...the restos were gonna hit...and i'm happy

six months
six wonderful months
3 lover's quarrels
one crying session
two scary rides
hehehe
life is good

happy monthsary honey!!!
(July 5, 2006)

....and always

2006-06-24T12:24:00.000+08:00

There's no time like the present. Grab the bull by its horns.

There's something that always rings true everytime I check my horsocope this days. But right now, in this very moment it's not the bull's horn that I want to pull...it's my texter stalker/bitch of my ex!!!!

Grabeh!!!

There are somethings that are beneath you. There are others that you put up with.
But as my fabulous friend Paka says, "I will not sit down when injustice is happening."

Hmmmm....crime of moral turpitude? Hahahaha That bitch doesn't deserve that.

She deserves the worst thing that you can do with a person.....indifference baby!!!

As I texted her:

"You have issues I have no desire to entertain,"

I'm reminded of cow. The only thing different is that the cow looks much much much better than Jes the Hag. Bwahahahaha!!!!!

Keep you updated guys!
Im in the Mood For a Kiss
;-p

2006-05-09T10:12:00.000+08:00

just got back from concon's crib after returning her notes...as always wse laughed our hearts out and made chika about a lot of stuff...learned something new about sen... about his time in college and his ex...oh well....small world

monthsary was fine...
the days are longer than the usual...
review is such fun sometimes and sometimes it's liek sitting through a very bad b-movie...
life's simple pleasures? more like self-inflicted tortures.

I was randomly reading stuff on the net when I happen to read this:

French Kissing tips
This is a guide to basic kissing, i.e. you learn the basics and get the basics right, then experiment and try different styles and more advanced techniques. The basics 1. Brush your teeth, get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the other person. There's nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage truck 2. Get into a comfortable position - you can't kiss if your back feels like it's gonna break. Suggestion - Sit side by side on a comfy sofa. 3. Hold your lover , firmly but gently - don't cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides. 4. Move your faces closer. Don't bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angle his face slightly so you don't bump noses. 5. Kiss gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood. 6. Continue kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else. 7. If fine till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other person's lips. 8. Chances are from here, if the other person lightly parts her tongue, slowly explore the other person's tongue in a light licking motion. 9. The tongue has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue is the essence of french kissing. 10. After you've tried lightly licking the other person's tongue, you can try sucking on it, wrestling with it ( see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth ) and other things like that. 11. Explore the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick, or tickle the area with your tongue. 12. Don't bite. whatever you do, don't bite. 13. Don't swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don't drill your way through. 14. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your nose. 15. Follow so far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person. Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don't cause pain. 16. Continue kissing.

oh well...got no prob in that dept
naks! hehehehe

HAVE YOU EVER HAD THIS FEELING/CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE?

I did.

Weird.
Hilarious.
Uncanny.
Fun.

Anyway....I feel like a bitch today.

Hopefully my bf feels the same. hahahaha

2006-04-27T00:42:00.000+08:00

IT GOT ME THINKING THAT

Omissions are betrayals.

“Not sharing” is NOT sharing a life at all.

I know that sometimes knowing matters. It just has its downside sometimes.
And the price you pay leaves much to be desired.

Sometimes the knowing part in your life, screws up your chances of just being there in the moment; when all you can do is just to feel.
Now you have to contend with the what-ifs.
It's the very question that can often suck the life out of you.

“FRIENDS?”

Watch When Harry Met Sally

WONDER

I wonder why somethings are so hard for people to do.
It could just be the simplest of things.
A call.
A text.
A holler.
A miss call?
Anything?

Why do we have to ask, Fight about,
Question,
Pout because of it,
Demand, or
Hint?
Nakaka-wala ng Gana.
It’s starting to blow my bubbles.

SCHOOL

So many books.
So little time.
Tired eyes.
Back aches.

WISH-LIST

A Leica digital camera or a Lomo Cam +
Lots of time+
Shots to take.

PISSED

He hinted. So I did.
He never noticed even after a couple of rounds.
It sucks to be a sucker for wanting to please.

PISSED SOME MORE

More like a little bit disappointed that one day can just pass without him wanting to hear from me.
Fine.
Let’s make him WANT to.

Call me childish but a part of me understands that one can be swamped with work.
Too many things to do that time passes without us noticing it.
But c’mon! A WHOLE day?

D’WAG!!!

11:47 P.M.
The whole time I waited for this blog to be done, he was online in YM.
Completely ignored me.
Again!
This is the second time.
STRIKE TWO.
And I’m pissed!!
Especially when I’m scared.

2006-03-12T21:46:00.001+08:00

a MISunderstanding is a PERFECT excuse for a MAKE-UP KISS

wow! (a realization of some sorts)
we just had our first misunderstanding/fight/argument...
and it was interesting (not in a happy way)

i learned that i now take my time before i blurt out any complaints i have (bravo! which is good coz when i used to just blurt out my misgivings it didn't get the results nor the message across that I wanted)...

which can irritate a man and lead him to think i was furious...
or awfully mad...

hon,
i was only a little bit disappointed....

but i also learned that he can drive fast
and honk to his heart's delight...

anyway, it's all sorted out just fine...

hopefully all future misunderstandings and fights can be sorted out in this dignified manner :-p
hehehehe

i chose the right one after all.
thank you Lord.

2006-03-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

You Are 45% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.You've been a fool for love many times - but are you the wiser for it?Your needs should come first, both in and out of relationships.Because you're the only one who can look out for yourself!

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romanceYou love to kiss under the stars or by the seaThe perfect kiss involves the perfect moodIt's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

You Are a Kogyaru!

If it's cute, you'll wear it. Fake and bake, hair bleach, and bright makeup line your bathroom cabinet.As for clothes - anything that's short and cute ("kawaii!").You are the prize object of all sorts of men - but you are really looking for a rich foreign guy.He'll find you out hanging out in Shibuya shopping at the 109, text messaging and sending photos over your cellphone.

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.But you may be ready in a couple of years.You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

Your 1920's Name is:

Lelia Freda

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Lisandra Fagundes

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?"

You Are a Chocolate Martini

You're an elegant drunk, who only likes the best bars and the most expensive drinks.A bit of a cheapskate, you're likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers.
You should never: Drink and dash. You're gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab!
Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar.
Your drinking soulmates: those with a Classic Martini personality
Your drinking rivals: those with a Blueberry Martini personality

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity.For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.
You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.
Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.
You connect best with: Fire
Avoid: Wood
You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

Everything Pizza

Diverse and adaptableYou enjoy the full buffet of lifeIt's hard to you play favorites with friends... or flavorsThere's very little that you dislike!

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.
You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?
It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.
In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.
A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

2006-03-04T13:35:00.000+08:00

Your French Name is:

Deja Gaillard

Your Irish Name Is...

Sinead Healy

Your Elf Name Is...

Buddy Hot Chocolate

Your Birthdate: February 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.
Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone
Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge
Your power color: Cobalt blue
Your power symbol: Dove
Your power month: September

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Palila Kamea

2006-02-22T15:11:00.000+08:00

SO FAR IN 'O6 I HAVE..

[x ] fell in love

[ ] broken a promise.

[x] made a new friend.

[ ] fell out of love

[ ] done something you swore never to do

[x] lied

[ ] stolen

[ ] went behind your parents back

[ ] cried over a broken heart

[ ] disappointed someone close

[x] hidden a secret

[ ] pretended to be happy

[ ] got arrested

[ ] kissed in the rain

[ ] slept under the stars

[ ] gotten in a fight

[ ] kept your new years resolution

[ ] forgot your new years resolution

[x] not made a new years resolution

[x] met someone who changed your life

[ ] met one of your idols

[x] changed your outlook on life

[x] sat home all day doing nothing

[ ] pretended to be sick

[ ] left the country

[ ] almost died

[x] drank

[ ] lost someone close to you

[ ] just visited been to the hospital

[x] gotten closer to someone or a group

[ ] streaked[ ] cried over someone

[ ] broken up with a gf or bf

[ ] given up something important to you

[ ] talked on the phone all night

[x] learned something new about yourself

[ ] tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it

[x] made a change in your life

[x] found out who your true friends were

[ ] made a total fool of myself

[x] met great people

[ ] hated everything

[ ] cried so hard you couldn't breathe

[ ] felt totally alone

so many things to look forward to this year

hopefully it till end the same way it has begun....fabulous!!!

love yah hon!!!

2006-01-30T15:48:00.000+08:00

DINAGYANG 2006

the best one coz i got to spend it with sen!!! he he he
te, pa nami nami ta pics ha???!!
whats my prize hamster?
(bastos! )

FIRE AWAY!!

COME TO ME DARLING

BRUHA? HA HA HA

REMINDS ME OF A SLIME

IS EVRYTHING STANDING OR WHAT?

BOW TO ME

VIVA SENOR STO. NINO

KEEPING ME STANDING

LOVE ME!!! LOVE ME!!!

I JUST LOOOVE BLACK AND WHITE PICS

LOOKING FOR DIVINE INSPIRATION

IN HONOR OF THE STO. NINO

CROWDED?

MY FAVE PIC

2005-12-29T16:12:00.000+08:00

hhmmmmm.....the "ber" months were awful....but it seems I'll be ending my year with a smile
:-)
jas, something's brewing!
It may not surely be a new prospect in love, but I feel like a girl...again!!!!!
Fast no?
Life is good.
:-p

2005-11-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

My Rollercoaster October Ride
if reality can be fiction, this is it

He ended it on the 15th of October, but all endings are really beginnings in hindsight.

Have you ever noticed how one realizes that the little mundane things that would have been dismissed as trivial, turns out to be the first sign, of the many signs soon after?

If distance could be measured by space and time, mine begun on my sister’s 18th birthday.

First, you begin to notice that the conversations are more restrained; that there is less enthusiasm in the voice than the usual. Intuition tells you something is brewing, but you give yourself the excuse that he’s just probably tired or you’re just “thinking too much”.

You invited him earlier on, he says yes. Asks about the menu and you answer with a smile. Then as the day nears, he starts making excuses. He had to be with Popeye or he was asked to do errands again and again. Then on the day itself, he makes an excuse about a phone breaking down. You take it all in stride. Convincing you that this is not the day, nor the time to make a fuss about a little thing. You meet up outside your house. He looks at you. Distantly. You expect a kiss. Nothing. A peck? Dream on.

So you start eating. The gang is in the room. Paka is his usual self. You laugh at the jokes but your eyes linger on to him. When everybody’s preoccupied, you come up to him and asks, “Is everything ok?” I wasn’t asking about the food but something, anything…he complains about the weather, but other than that he seems fine eating.

He fiddles with his phone, keeps texting and suddenly it rings. The brother calls. He goes out of the room. Comes back and says he has to go. You look at him and you look the other way. Your friends notice. One says that he should have told his “brother” that he has plans of his own, that this was our day to spend time for each other.

It falls on deaf ears.

Before he leaves he promises to come back. That we’ll go out. I believed him.

Everybody left. The yayas started cleaning up. The birthday celebrant starts opening gifts. Nothing. Suddenly you get a text message and a call telling you that he developed a bad reaction, something about loose bowels. Again, you swallow it, and you move on. Concerned and pissed; but nevertheless, still concerned.

The week starts to be tedious for the both of you. He says he will try to make it up. After you’ve complained that you two seem to be having a long distance affair which shouldn’t be. That you understand that there’s work and school on the week days, and that the weekends should be for us. Reserved. A fact that should have crossed his mind on his own, but I had to remind him that I was getting bored. But I was willing to work the schedule around for him, just please, try to make an effort to want to be with me. He says sorry and says Friday.

Friday came, he rain checked and says Saturday will be good.

Saturday comes. Nothing. No text messages, no phone calls. Ordinarily this would have been ok.

But if you’re with a man who never stops fidgeting with his fucking phone when you’re together and calls people for shit about nothing that actually has nothing to do with him…well, it makes you wonder.

You call his house.

It turns out he’s sick.

Fine.

Sunday I had a class. Supposedly we were supposed to meet up after lunch. Nothing. I called up his house and the maid says he left early in the morning. In short, I got nothing, no text no call no shit.

Fine.

Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

I start to think.

Now the worst thing that could happen to a woman is to think. What’s wrong? Is he ok? Did he get into an accident? Is he still alive? What’s wrong?

I told the girls. BG says ga “pamahal mahal na siya”, and that I should not be the one to text or call him for as long as I can. Pasuber.

I did.

I tried.

I followed the advice. But it was exam week and you can’t get anything in my head because HE was all I could think about. Kareen says, I should concentrate on school, on our exams because at the end of this he will still be there but this was our finals. Indi kabayad if you fail any one subject for him.

I did. I tried. But I could not take it anymore. On the 12th I asked BG to call him. The bastard says his line was cut by Globe.

Landline? Phone booths? Your other cell? Something? Helllloooo?

He says he will talk to me when exam ends. That was a bombshell. I knew then and there he was breaking up with me…but at the end of the exams? That was on the 24th! As much as I am a poster child for sarcasm and so-what attitude I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait that long. So BG told him, that he can’t possibly be serious and he should call because I was worried and getting upset….to say the least.

The mumuy called. Lola cried. He said I shouldn’t cry. Hellooooo?

The next day the polite calls came. We talked about…of all things, taxation. Huh!!! And so I gave myself the reprieve that we should see each other on the 15th and talk this through. He said yes.

We were supposed to meet in school. But there was no class. It was raining that afternoon and the girls decided to wait with me in Flow for him. He was supposed to pick me up at seven in RADA. I texted him of where we were.

By quarter to seven I texted Floyd to tell him where we were. Floyd said their exam ended a long time ago and that he and Yo separated already.

We called.

I texted.

We called.

Until around 8pm and he answered the phone. His excuse? He forgot the phone in his car. Russhel and Merielle’s reaction? “Yeah right! Si $%#*$#&? He’s making an excuse! Indi mapatihan!”

Hoping against all hope, he finally arrives around 8 or so. Do you know what I remembered when I saw him? It was the look of a man who would rather be somewhere else. So I told him to park in front of Chinos and there we talked.

I promised myself to be patient. To let him speak. In the end it was this: “Protektahan ta ka. Pahuway ta.” I cried. A kiss. A hug. He offered to take me home but all I could say was, “What for?” And it’s true. Being polite for the sake of being polite was never my cup of tea.

Let’s just say it was a long walk. It was also the longest ride home, all the while texting BG and Kareen. Crying on your way home is something I’ll do once in my life. Promise!!

When I got home I put up a brave face. They never knew at home.

When I got into bed I cried so hard it was devastating. I got my reprieve when Merielle texted asked how it all went. I forgot what I answered to her.

The next day was a Sunday so there was moot court class. Ka, Meme and Rush were with me outside the bookstore and there again, I cried.

On the 18th was supposed to be our one year and one month together as a couple. I knew I’d go crazy if I stayed home. BG offered I come over in Pavia in her crib. So I went, with Meme.

I asked a male friend for a male perspective of what “Pahuway” meant. What he said was so true.

I called Paka and I had sense of clarity after I hung up the phone.

I then texted him on the 22nd and on the 23rd to come and meet me after my Succession exam on Monday.

I was told that on the night he said pahuway he was in MO2 at one o’clock in the morning. Days after somebody told me he was in kimwa. It broke my heart and it was like a slap in the face.

Exam ended around 7:30 or 8pm Monday night, I asked BG to carry my books and she said, “Go! Meet him. We’ll wait for you in front of RADA.” I did. I miss called, and he was waiting outside. He drove in the campus and we talked. I asked him what “Pahuway meant.” He explained. And right then and there I knew that this was my slap in the face. The truth I wanted to hear. The truth to help me move on.

Let me explain. The girls were giving me advices the whole time. I listened. But one day, Paka asked me how Yo was, we were in the parking lot. I told him I was dumped by him. The girls said something about him having the nerve. Paka said, “Te ano gid haw? Relationships are a mutual thing. You can’t force one to stay.” And then it hit me. He was right. Whoever said that it was and should be the girl’s prerogative to end relationships? Relationships are a mutual thing. I told the girls that I will not beg, nor hope nor convince him otherwise. It was a decision he made, and I would respect that. And so I did.

Sem break. You know how it is that you complain about the lack of time to do just nothing and not be forced to read another law book or something? Well, this year I was given two weeks or so and the timing never sucked better than this.

I was watching Desperate Housewives a when all of this drama was at its fever pitch and a line caught my attention, “Some of us find love and wish we should have never found it (paraphrasing)”.

Now that it has been four days since we last talked, I realized that I should give myself a gift. I’m going to take the higher road. I’m sure the girls will raise their eyes if they will learn of this but last night, around 10:58pm, I texted Yo for the last time and I said that I wish him well, that though things have not turned out well for us as a couple, I refuse to have him as my enemy. I told him that if he needed anything not to hesitate to call me. I bid him good luck and told him to take care of myself.

After I sent that text message it was liberating! I did not want and I refuse to spend my days blaming him, being angry or crying over him. He did what he conveniently thought what was best for him. Did he consider me at all in his decision? Was our one year together a factor in his decision? Did he weigh in the emotional effect this would have on me? I think not.

But people have to owe up to their decisions. And I refuse to do that for him. He made his. And I have made mine. I DO wish him well. Truly.
Today I finished reading Mitch Albom’s “The Five People You Meet in Heaven,” and I thought it was uncanny that today, after I texted Yo, that I will come across these lines:

“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do ourselves.”

And finally,

“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

Life has to end. Love doesn’t.”

Motto for the next one? Love as thou you have never been hurt before.

By God, I will. By hook or by crook, so help me God. Amen.

UPDATE: Still from Desperate Housewives, “….sometimes we have to pick ourselves,” when our knight and shining armor could not....or something to that effect.

Let’s move on.

LATEST: A surprise to know someone was interested…a catch..but there’s a catch…no matter…he’s a keeper just in case…went out and realize there's a whole new world of guys out there…one in particular…still starting….the day is young

2005-11-08T18:57:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile since i last blog...let's just say emotionally, it has been a rollercoaster for me..one of these days i'll post the blog i made while in my sad state....once i get the courage to post it i guess...we'll see..

2005-08-15T14:58:00.000+08:00

musings of a self-confessed insecure, cranky beyotch

when the one person that used to be the center of your insecurity happen to be by chance a constant presence in your

life now..what do you do? especially when you realize that she's nothing...not in a sarcastic or profound way---but that you

realize that you just wasted your emotions on someone that shouldn't have matttered in the first place...is self-worth

always learned the hard way? if it is, life sucks.

when your partner loses his interest in appeasing your insecure little self...what do you do?

do you create a barrier? think of situations of his infidelity? or just don't give a shit?

if he calls...he calls

if he makes known his presence...nag him to death?

there is truth in the saying "single blessedness" after all

when you're the dominant spirit in a relationship and your partner starts to question you

or defy or contradict you just to make his point )that you won't always have your way) what do you do?

be content with yourself

with or without a bf....be the diva!!!!

say nyo?

2005-07-14T16:32:00.000+08:00

just been invited to another blog site by a friend...while i can't barely maintain this blog these days, i still signed up for it..i'm such a sucker...my bf ignored me today...might as well have none...say mo? Kidlat? hee heee damn, he's still a cutie.

2005-05-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

Learned Conditions
No human relation gives one possession in another—every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.

I once read a story about racial prejudices. The mother saw how her son instinctively hugged his black nanny upon their first introduction. The Mother remarked how prejudices are learned by children through their parents.

It came back to me when, I was bored one day waiting for my friends to arrive, that I went online and checked my Friendster account. In my long wait, I entered almost every person in my first degree friends---that then I came across Jas’ account and saw a message in one of her pictures. It said “Happiness is a Learned Condition.”

I thought that was a neat statement.

I once thought that if God gave man his free will and enabled man to make choices--- I wondered if my happiness can be something I can will to happen----something tangible that the choice eventually would manifest itself.

If I would want something badly---would it eventually be a reality?

But if a person can have anything she wills---who takes into account the actual making of the choice itself? I mean, should I be careful of what I wish for? Or are our life choices something subconscious that the actual making of a choice is blurred between reality and wishful thinking? Who then should I blame if my choice is misguided? If happiness was a learned condition-----a will-----a conscious choice-----then why the hell is half the people I know have miserable lives, or wanting to live another, or feeling left out, or feeling like they’re living a life they don’t want to live?

Economics? Life choices gone bad? Or is everything as it should be?

Is discontent the most natural of all selfish desires/feelings of man?

Without the theatrics, would our lives be meaningful? When we have fights with our significant other, do we do so because there’s a problem or because sometimes a good argument is better than a seemingly “harmonious” relationship?
I once remarked “That’s boring!”, in surprise and disbelief and even in mockery with a little hint of sarcasm, when a guy friend said that he had never had an “argument” with his girlfriend of six months

With the rate I’m “arguing” and the “dramatics” that my friends witness with my Y0---he (the guy friend) would probably give my boo a medal for sticking up with me. Or is just my tendency to argue and complain a manifestation of my being a spoiled brat that’s honestly acknowledging the bitchiness that is in me? Or was Theatre the career choice I failed to make? Whatever.

If life and happiness was a learned condition----somebody please throw me the guidebook.

But then again, I might just boomerang it back to you. Beyotch!!!

2005-05-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

trying to figure out what to blog...listening to pinikpikan...well, the mind wanders....and is in peace..

i had a dream recently that when i woke up i had a line in my head...

"I wished that I learned early on in life that insecurity was just a state of mind."

Go figure.

2005-05-09T16:29:00.000+08:00

A day in Guimaras was worth the long trip. Such fun!

BG's Fiesta...The Bar was all one could remember....Cheers!!!

2005-04-27T19:46:00.000+08:00

saw sponge bob...by the time I went out, my bf had to be a volunteer fireman...their office was close to a burning building...so iwaited in ground coffee...ate fettucine...waiting...then went to a computer station...waited...now he's here

2005-03-31T13:05:00.000+08:00

Diploma Blues

Two years after graduating from U.P. I finally got the chance to get my diploma. Travelling back to U.P. Miami was interesting---the roads are better (no more craters!!!!) and the houses are getting fancier....now that I have my diploma, the sense that you've made it wasn't there at all.

Still bored and unemployed.
The years are depressing.

Sometimes na lang.
Kung minsan masaya na rin.
You make life work for you or else the psycho wards in this country will be full.
Even my blog is lack luster.
Haaaay.

2005-03-05T18:43:00.000+08:00

Turned 23 last Feb 27 and still...nothing to show for it...haay

...oh wait, this is the first that my father is actually home for my birthday

and he's still with me (who? go figure! Beyotch!!)

with my most loyal companion

2005-02-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

hmmm...finals is over but the load is still killing me...i'm counting down the days to freedom that only summer can bring me....this is my reprieve...haaaay

2005-01-21T16:20:00.000+08:00

We tell stories of our lives---sometimes in narratives---some in anecdotes---and often hide the emotions and dramas in the nervous laughs and lame jokes we unsuccessfully make.

We also tell the story of our lives in the pictures that stack up in the little forgotten corners of our cabinets. My father one day remarked with great amusement about the hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures that document the stages of our lives. My mother said itwas because he used to ask for pictures when he was away (he’s a seaman).

But if there is something I wish the pictures could do? Capture my mother’s unabashed and unconscious smile...my sister’s emotions reflected in her eyes…my father’s smile…my dogs enthusiasm and kikay dramas…nike’s “queenly gaze”….puma’s “I’m so tired/leave me alone look”…amor’s “I’m hungry/deprivedof food for this hour look”…and bonita’s “look at meI’m cute but when I turn around I’m just a bitch”look…gosh! The pictures that could bring a rush of emotions….hope they’ll come soon!!!

2004-12-22T16:37:00.000+08:00

This is what I feel like doing these days...sticking my tongue out!!!

2004-12-11T10:31:00.000+08:00

next wweek na yung prelims sa law...hay!! Another few days of sleepless nights again... nakaw lang ang blog na to...my friends are waiting in McDo now...tada!!!

2004-11-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

HAAY!!!

Hah! Two days of no class because of the nation wide strike against oil price hikes and all I can think about is Civil Procedure and Administrative law! The latter I can handle, but the former…well, so far I find it boring as hell. I’m readingwithout any tinge of emotion on this subject. My teacher

in Legal Counseling tells us that Civil Procedure IS boring, and that you only get to appreciate it when you get to practice law. Well that really didn’t help me at all. Haay!!!

My current state of emotion is also draining my romantic energies. My ex (that’s what I call my current boo) asked me a very---shall we say---“malaman” na tanong last night. I told him that it was almost celestial. But I got his point. He didn’t with mine. Haay!!!

School is ordinary…love life is….home is better. My doggies keep me company…at least

I have something to be happy about….Haaay!!!!

AMOR and BONITA

PUMA

NIKE

(P.S. Any news on Kawayan people?

On Lino Cayetano maybe? On you??!!!???)

2004-11-18T10:15:00.000+08:00

After an exhausting first semester of my second year in law school…ngayon ko lang talaga na feel na I’m a law student…Not that I was slacking in my freshman year but the saying that your second year is the toughest “daw” is quite true. Maybe I’d change my own opinion when I reach the next level. Anyway, I haven’t blog in ages!!! I miss this…Most of the time I write about the most mundane things but what the heck…this blog was meant as a pleasant diversion in my boring life…

So many things have happened!!! As usual my dearest Kawayan is getting more and more press coverage and if you check out the chatrooms of Pinoys…a lot of girls are screaming for info on the guy…Sure, there’s without a doubt that the first thing that attracted me to the guy was his striking good looks…but after awhile good looks doesn’t quite cut it for me anymore….I have a standing admiration for all artists in general (writers, painters, photographers, etc) and once you get to know what kind of art Kawayan De Guia does…well, it starts to be interesting….to say the least, his being a Buddhist is reflective in almost all his works being highlighted in the Art exhibits and contests he joins in… I don’t quite understand it…perhaps because pictures on the net don’t do justice on his works…I have yet to see one or any of his works in person…punta kaya siya ditto sa Iloilo??? (wink wink heee heeee Kilig factor to the Max).

Anyway, what’s new---what’s new? Gutsy Tuason just published a new book called Bahura if I’m not mistaken. It means coral reefs I think. He looks older but happy with Amanda in his interview with F. Haaay!!!

Wish for the day: Punta ng Baguio….Haaay…will anyone invite me please? A free trip and all wouldn’t hurt..I won’t complain..I promise..heee heee (wink wink)

(P.S. Make this my life’s wish...ever)

My babies are getting cuter everyday...Puma lost a lot of weight...I'll post pics next time...they're just the cutest bunch!!! Hay, I'm a certified dog lover and I'm proud of it!!!

2004-11-18T09:53:00.000+08:00

2004-10-23T13:59:00.000+08:00

www.Which one am I? (wink wink)

All of us Blog. All of us are law students. All of us are Beyotchs!!! (wink wink)

2004-10-16T14:11:00.000+08:00

The Quote I can quote Verbatim: The heart has its reasons which reason does not know. (Blaise Pascal)

This gorgeous baby is Nike!!!! If I could have a mini me in the dog's world---she would be it! Haughty, demanding, bitchy and well...lovable? heee heee Oh wait, slightly unpredictable too!! :-)

2004-10-14T09:27:00.000+08:00

WHAT

...is in your closet that you treasure most?
-perfect fititng jeans

...song that makes you wanna dance?
-i'm coming out

..do you bring anywhere with you?
-phone and money

...do you do first upon waking up?
- check out the time

...time do you usually go to sleep?
-around midnyt

...is the scariest movie ever?
--chuckie

...makes you tremble/weak on the knees?
--fever? the anticipation of a great kiss? scary movies..

...type of clothes do you like wearing?
-jeans and black tops

...part of your body do you adore?
-nada---oh wait, my mouth????

...have you done to pamper yourself lately?
-wah

...is your sleepwear?
-pajamas, old shirts, my sis' shorts

...do you want to add up to your room?
-space, lots of it...plasma tv, more books, framed photographs, etc.

...would you rather have -coffee or iced tea?
-iced-tea, better yet--some chocolate please

...is your best trait?
-my sarcasm and unbridled tongue

...would you rather do -go out or sleep?
-go out!! i've gotten fat because of sleeping too much

...would you rather engage yourself into-basketball or scuba diving?
-scuba diving (that is if I can get over my fear of going underwater)

...is a romantic date for you?
-don't know...that's my bf's problem

...brings you to tears?
-frustration, anger, loss, myself?

...do you think of long-distance love affair?
-it works for some people

...was the last movie you watched in the theater?
-feng shui

...do you prefer- jeans or skirt?
-jeans

...do you do -jog or swim?
-jog (ages ago)

...name would you rather have?
-Mrs. Kawayan de Guia? (please lord..i wish!)...Mrs. Lino Cayetano? (wink wink)...or maybe Kenshin or another German sounding name like mine

...makes you lose your temper?
-myself and others

...food are you craving for lately?
-good old Pinoy food baby!

...the world needs now?
-tolerance!!!

2004-10-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

It's so me:

Rons, you follow your heart when it comes to success

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

Fr: Emode

2004-10-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

lizards....i have a weird desire to photograph them in the last 2 days...don't know why...but somehow their positions are...well, "provocative"....is it me or am i getting weirder everyday?----i think it's the combination of this coming finals week and well---just being me...wala talagang magawa...anything to distract me from hitting the books...what's up with the weather these days?!!! even my mood swings are no longer swinging...they're intergalactic almost in their drama...ahahay!!!

2004-09-29T16:02:00.000+08:00

now that i have someone to share a part of my life with i realize a few things:

1. your friends either approve of you or they give you a pained expression (luckily i belong to the former)
2. my sarcasm is now in full force...a spice of life
3. i sometimes play with my bf's emotions...childish? sure...but sometimes i do it just for the heck of it...life is more interesting that way...our late night conversations now have a topic to focus on
4. my friends are getting bitchier (i know, the word doesn't exist...somebody sue Mr. Webster please)....but when you're surrounded by young, ambitious, would-be lawyer girlfriends...you get to ask yourself this question---"are they a reflection of me?"----hell, yeah!!!
5. one of the joys of blogging is when you're friends start to blog too....she doesn't only seem funny when i'm with her...but she really is!!! check out PrettyCrabbyLucy....she's hilarious!!!
6. and finally, i'm feeling law school these days...the pains...the joys...and the curses...i'm definitely "in"

2004-09-05T20:47:00.000+08:00

The questions in my life right now

Has love found me?
Is this love or just infatuation?
How do I know if this is the man who is right for me, right now?
How does one really ever know?
Is taking a chance at love a risk I can take?
Would I fall hard and learn to see life in a different way because of him?
Or am I just delusional?

AAARGGGGGHHHHHH….love can certainly wreck havoc in

one’s well-ordered but monotonous life.

Someone please give a line or two....what's love gotta do?

2004-08-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

Missing Bamboo, Having Harry, Feeling the Law and Death

I was not only excited, but I was dreaming of Bamboo for a whole month since the day I learned Bamboo was dropping by here in Iloilo. I was excited about taking cool pictures of the guys and sending them in their yahoo group. I was counting the days and I was literally feeling giddy about the whole thing---but on the last minute the universe suddenly turned its wicked charms on me and decided to piss my engines off! As usual, the culprit in my life is the back breaking load in law school! Sometimes life can be cruel!

I’m still pissed about the whole thing. I really am. I’m holding on to my grudge.

PANAWAGAN SA BAMBOO: BALIK KAYO NG ILOILO ULIT!!!! ALSO, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR GIG WOULD BE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. I have classes Monday to Saturday and it all usually ends at 8 or 8:30 in the evening.

But then the universe gives you a break----this time it was buying the whole set of Harry Potter books. Ok, so I’ve seen the movies but haven’t read a single word of the book---sue me. My sister was excited about the whole thing so I joined in the hoopla. It’s not much really---I would have been excited about having the 100 world classics in my book collection but what the heck right? You have to start somewhere. Oh yeah—I started with J.R.R. Tolkien’s books already! Hee hee

Then, as I was reading the blog of Jas I learned of the death of Chico from Kapatid. So sad, he will be missed.

Anyway, I just love reading about Jas’ blogs!!!! Sa kanya lang ako humahagilap ng mga bagong balita tungkol kay Kawayan. The chances of me meeting him somewhere is nada!!!! It’s a sad fact that I will have to live with for the rest of my beautiful days---grabeh!

Tanong lang---why does God create a man that makes a girl’s heart melt and give distance between them seem unbearable? Is it karma of my past life? The wall that I will have to cross over with—the bridge I have to cross---the river I have to swim into---the mountain I have to climb---the canvass I have to start on? Even my dab on poetry sucks, cliché!

P.S. Lino Cayetano is getting cuter every time I see him on TV. May girlfriend na kaya siya? Hee heee

2004-07-29T09:32:00.000+08:00

BUSY BEE

Some law school students ask themselves, "Kailangan pa ba yang i-memorize?"

Ako/Me? "How do I divide myself?"

I barely blog anymore,
I don't do anything else but study the law,
and I still don't have a lovelife (Kahit steady date man lang).

Life sucks.

2004-06-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

LAYERS UPON LAYERS

LAYER ONE:
- Name: Rons
- Birth date: 27th of February
- Birthplace: Iloilo City
- Current Local: Iloilo
- Eye Color: Black
- Hair Color: black
- Height: 5’1
- Righty/Lefty: Righty
- Zodiac Sign: Pisces

LAYER TWO: -
Shoes you wore today: Tennis shoes
- Weakness: Book Sales
- Fears: Heights
- Perfect Pizza: Great Toppings

LAYER THREE:
- Most overused phrase: Hay!
- First thoughts waking up: Can I sleep some more?
- Best physical feature: Nonexistent
- Bedtime: After 12
- Most missed memory: Love life

LAYER FOUR: -
Love Interest: Kawayan De Guia!!!!!!

LAYER FIVE:
- Smoke: Nope
- Take a shower: Everyday
- Do you think you've been in love: Yeah! With Kawayan
- Want to go to college: Finished!
- Like(d) HS: Fave
- Want to get married: Basta si Kawayan, kahit ngayon na!!!
- Believe in yourself: Sure
- Play an instrument: Organ

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
- Drank alcohol: Nope
- Smoked: Nah
- Done a drug: Nope
- Gone to the mall?: At least 3x a week
- Eaten an entire box of oreos?: Not yet
- Eaten sushi: No
- Been on stage: No
- Gone skating: No
- Thought of Kawayan: As sure as the sun rises and sets!!!!

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
- Played a game that required removal of clothing:No
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
- Been caught "doing something": stupid? sure
- Been called a tease: Never

LAYER EIGHT:
- Do you hope to be married: someday
- Describe your Dream Wedding: Basta ang groom si Kawayan
- How do you want to die: Having the man who loves me tell me that life has been sweet with me around in his life…haaaay

LAYER NINE:
- Drugs taken illegally: None
- CDs that I own: alin dun?!
- Tattoos: No
- Things in my past that I regret: Too many to be remembered

2004-06-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

Make Me Smile, Pretty Please?!

One of the simple things that can make me giddy with excitement is when I receive e-mails from people I don't know. From fans of Kawayan, bloggers I randomly leave a comment on and from strangers that refuse to be identified. I don't know if some of them are just fooling around but nevertheless I'm thrilled. May nagbabasa nga ng blog ko! Yippeee!

Here's a Buddhist wisdom I came across with:

Fleeting is this world
Growth and decay its very nature
Things spring to being and again they cease
Happy the marvel of them and the peace.

My take on this? Find joy in the simplest of things.

My parents find joy everytime one of their orchids in our little garden would bloom...they love and openly admire the subtle look/beauty of a potted plant.

A friend of mine finds a reason to smile the whole day just by getting a glimpse of her crush. For some, finding a bargain like a t-shirt for 50 pesos.

In the grand scheme of things, the cheapest and the simplest things in life means the most. Have you ever heard of the expression, "Less is More?"

Mine is simply creating memories with family, friends and most especially with my doggies. He he he he SMILE

2004-06-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

01 | if you had more time alone, you would..
take photos

02 | if you could change anything about the world..
get rid of poverty

03 | if you had a plane ticket to anywhere in the world,
you would visit..
Thailand

04 | if you could live anywhere in the world, you would live in..
France

05 | if you could ask God one question, it would be..
can I go to heaven?

06 | if you could, you would spend time with this famous person..
Elizabeth Taylor

07 | if you could be famous, you would like to be famous for..
my wits

08 | if you could magically change one thing in you it would be..
my near-sighted eyes

09 | if you were stranded on a desert island, you would want these three people with you..
Gabriel Garcia Marquez, a cook and Oprah

10 | the first thing you would do on a deserted island..
make an SOS sign

11 | if you were in prison, you would spend time..
reading

12 | if you could erase one memory..
bad people in my life

13 | if you could choose your age of death..
doesn’t matter how old I am---as long as I’ve had a full life

14 | if you could bring back a person from the dead..
Ninoy Aquino

15 | if you were a beverage, you would be..
iced tea

School starts monday...another semester of reading and reading and eating out with friends...my life is one big circle of predictable woes and angst...ahahay!

2004-06-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

ON THE DAY OF VENUS’ TRANSIT

I find it interesting that I seem to be living in such interesting, momentous and historical times. It’s not that I have any role in any of it happening (or not)—but as a spectator and a speck that belongs in what we call humanity….well, it’s interesting.

Take for instance this transit of Venus that apparently happens once every hundred years or so---I wanted to watch it but my Mother warned me not to look directly at sunlight---which I would have to do if I wanted to see the darn thing! But considering that I could barely look straight with my nearsighted pair of barely-there-eyes---well, this I got to see on TV! Ahahay.

Well anyway, I was on a shopping mall the other day because I wanted a different set of frames for my eyeglasses and you know what I came across with? (Don’t hold your breath---it wasn’t that momentous. Or for that matter historical) There was a sale! And legions of Ilonggos were there to burn some calories, spend their fortune and haggle.

But take this into perspective: when you’re surrounded by so many people of different ages, sexual orientation and sizes---you’re bound to be people-watching; from Moms that speak English with their kids trying to keep up (or should I say—understand at all?!?) to boyfriends taking deep breaths in frustration and God-knows what from waiting for their girlfriends to get out of the fitting room. Whew! Some expressions are priceless, I tell you!

FROM KINGDOM COME TO DOOMSDAY

This election was the first time I ever voted. (I missed my first chance to do so a few years ago) and naturally, I wanted to see who won the not-exactly-envied position of the
President and the Vice President. Well now, it seems that I can do a lot of things before I know or by then, care to know—who won that is.

Take a deep breath…take a swim…view the beauty of the sea world…..etc….etc….etc...apparently, I can do a lot of things before I would know who won.

Something tells me that by the time Kingdom Come and Doomsday arrives…I would have done a lot more than debate this S&*! For Hours on end. Ahahay!

MIRIAM’S BACK

I have to this to say of our newly-eleected Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago ----------YIPPEEE!!!! Even if I don’t always agree with her, I just find her fascinating.

If only half of the personalities in Philippine politics could be just like her...we would have something to actually think about and watch on end! Haay.

2004-05-14T20:47:00.000+08:00

eLeKsYoN nG pInAs

May 10, 2004: Election Day today, and after voting without a hassle, I just realized how little I know of the personalities that are involved in the local government. I didn’t recognize a soul! The idiot that I am, I voted with these in mind: I voted for the women, the ones who have familiar nicknames and just for the heck of it---the ones with “pretty names.” I consoled myself with the idea that I voted wisely in the national level. My mother voted for GMA and I voted for Raul Roco. My mother tells me, jokingly, that I really shouldn’t vote for Roco because he’s a no-win-kind-of-a-candidate. The man doesn’t stand a chance. You have to vote for GMA. (The rationality with that statement is that if Roco can’t win---because of GMA and FPJ---you better vote for GMA just in case, to counter the votes for FPJ). My answer was simple: Conscience Vote.

tHe UsUaL: tHe DeAd ArE aLiVe AnD tHe LiViNg DiEs

Usual complaints and problems pop up every election time in the Philippines: Missing Names in the Registered Voters List, Poll Watchers Shouting “Daya!”, Flying Voters, Money Exchanging Hands…etc! But more than the usual complaints, we now have people arguing about exit polls and surveys---whether or not they’re the real deal. If I have my way---I’d get rid of the whole thing! It confuses people and creates the mindset that this or that candidate is the “sure” winner. C’mon!?!?! People need to think for their own for a change. At least in the local levels, you can see that people are changing their usual liking for artistas---being a movie star no longer guarantees an election win.

May 14, 2004: InDiA aNd ThE pHiLiPpInEs

As we were having the usual drama of election time here in the Philippines---India was also having its election. What struck me was that India held its elections using a computerized system of voting. Within a few hours people knew which candidates or for that matter, which party was winning. Resignations were on hand and the country moved on with a new government in tow. No drama (meaning: No violence and complaints). No fuss.

Now if we had a computerized system in the Philippines, there wouldn’t be any need for exit polls, Namfrel, surveys, election violence, and dramas.

But then again, some things happen only in the Philippines. We would never know unless we’ve had a computerized system.

But if we did, how can the bad man cheat? Who would need the guns and goons? Ahahahay.

BuSh aNd PiCs

Bush is having a hard time these days. A lot of criticisms on the way the Americans are handling Iraqui prisoners in Iraq. Those pictures were disgusting. But was I surprised? Nope. America may always have the need to put itself in a “holier than thou” position in the world today but seriously, it doesn’t have the most clean and clear reputation for human rights. It would be the first to condemn the others but the last to acknowledge its own. A lot of wrong things can happen in a war. But the idea that this kind of behavior is not reflective of what America stands for? C’mon! It’s a tactic that has been used for ages! But to be fair, it doesn’t happen with America alone. History can tell you as much.

The other thing that blows my mind away is the idea that this couldn’t have happened if the soldiers could have been taught the Geneva Conventions. That this could somehow lessen the crime committed and be understandable was B.S.! You don’t need to read the Geneva Conventions that torturing and putting prisoners in those positions were wrong! If you still need to be told that---then there’s something really wrong with people these days. Basic human compassion and right conscience can tell you that---that is, if you had one in the first place.

2004-05-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

Sumasakit na ang ulo ko...Ang ganda ng pagpangit ng bago kong blogskin...This sucks. WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

2004-05-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Source: Friendster Bulletin Posts
Message: Why do you choose to be single at the moment?

SBC: Isa itong "calling". Dapat itong yakapin!

Issey: Why not? It's fun, though lonely at times, but it just needs a little getting used to. (while listening to Swing Out Sister!)

Iris: Because married life can be so harrowing.

MorDred: Coz its so much simpler this way. Why complicate things?!! hahaha

Jenny: Because the world is full of A-holes, b*stards, sh*t heads and married and attached guys who are pretending to be "unattached" and available.

Hizzle: It's better 2 be single than to be hurt by someone you've love and in the end will just left you for somebody...

=*muse*= : its fun coz i can flirt wenever i darn please... with my conscience clean =)

Sailboat: Because you prefer to “share in the happiness” of your friends that actually have a love life, and then go home wondering why the heck you don’t have one….you then go on complaining and cursing Cupid on why the heck he forgot all about you when you have the most willing heart in this part of the galazy….but then again----maybe not. Have you ever heard of single blessedness? Hee heee

2004-05-01T23:24:00.000+08:00

Hey! I'm changing my blog skin! But as you can see, my words are a little bit messed up...don't know why...pag-aaralan ko muna 'to...this requires all my brain power----nah! For now, this is my blog.

---Which do you Prefer---
1.WHITE OR RED ROSES? White
2.ORIGINAL OR COPY? Original
3.FAME, FORTUNE OR BOTH? Fortune
4.RICKY MARTIN OR WILLIAM HUNG(AMERICAN IDOL)? Ricky will do
5.INCUBUS CONCERT OR KEITH MARTIN CONCERT? Wala
6.CSI OR CSI MIAMI? CSI please
7.MULLET, MOHAWK, OR DREADLOCKS? Dreadlocks
8.LIFE OR DEATH? LIFE!!!!!
9.RING(JAPANESE VER) OR THE RING(AMERICAN VER)? I only saw the US version…soweeee
10.MUDSLIDE OR BAILEYS? Baileys

2004-04-26T21:38:00.000+08:00

When the Market Stinks

Normally I would be the first to applaud and champion true love when it’s being criticized or demeaned by others, but the current flame of Mar Roxas and Korina Sanchez is something. Korina may well do what Sharon Cuneta has done for her Senator hubby----put the man in their position----or in the case of Mar---his would-be position in the Senate. And if the surveys are to be believed, it’s going to be on the top spot. Jeeez! Romance in election time with a high-profile girlfriend or boyfriend that is seen on television almost everyday of the week is nothing short of putting one’s intentions on the questionable end. But sometimes it could be more than obvious. It almost stinks.

----About secrets----
1. Do you have a crush? Yup
2. Is he/she in your friends list? No
3. How long has he/she been your crush? A few years
4. What is first letter of his/her name? He’s a K
5. Name a song that you want to personally sing in front of him/her? If I could actually sing it would be “I Will” by Ben Taylor
6. In your whole life, have you ever puffed the magic dragon? No
7. When was the last time you got drunk? Never
8. If you died and given a chance to live again, who would you want to be this time and why? Athina Roussel….if that’s far-fetched maybe a famous photographer
9. Have you ever been a number two? Was I ever on the list?
10. One day ET knocked on your door and asked if you could use the phone, what are you gonna say to him? Is there a God?

2004-04-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

ANSWER BRIEFLY: Who/What comes to your mind when these things are mentioned?

Mornings: Time for Sleep
Lunch: Food
Afternoons: Time to hit the books and a Nap wouldn’t hurt either
Evenings: School…if not, TV or the Net
Mall: Eating and Shopping
Movie: Sitting still for an hour or two, maybe three
America: New York
Britain: Royalty
France: Sexy French accents
Africa: Wild life
Philippines: The Heat
Japan: History and Culture
Baguio: Kawayan De Guia (Obvious ba?!)
Arcade: Noises and Boys
Restos: My kind of thing..…pure pleasure…slurps!
Carparks: Mainit ang Pilipinas
Music: Emote
MTV: Cribs and oh yeah, music videos
Cars: My dream car: Hummer
Pop Stars: Glitters and Dance Moves that have no connection with the lyrics or the rhythm of the song
Rockers: Interesting---how after singing their heads off, they actually have depth in their points of view….you can actually have life-lessons learned with these guys (not just about sex and drugs really); they have causes they are concerned and fighting for---from AIDS in Africa to helping refugees etc. etc. etc.
Chocolate: Pure pleasure plus my Pop
Vinci: the artist? Hee heee
Beer: My drunkard friends….nah!
Cream Puffs: :)
Angelina Jolie: Tsk Tsk some people have it all…beauty, body and brains
Britney Spears: Amazed how lip-synching can get one millions and millions plus a faked pair of boobs…jeez!
Blue: Sky (duh?!) The Boy Band? Hyuck!
Green: Veggies and Plants
Yellow: My bed sheets
Orange: Box?
Hate: Pretty much everyone….nah!
Love: Books and K.

2004-04-25T20:50:00.000+08:00

ARE WE REALLY HAPPY IN “HAPPY TRIPS?

My father left today to work abroad, and only after saying my goodbyes on the phone that I noticed my family members kept saying “Happy Trip.” I don’t know, but reflecting on that made me think if that’s exactly what we mean when a loved one leaves us other than for vacation. Are they really happy? Just a thought.

CONTROVERSY IN DEADLY PICTORIALS

It seems that the CBS special showing pictures of Princess Diana’s last moments in that Paris car crash is causing more pain and controversy than the network thought. They justified the pictures as not being graphic or anything offensive. I don’t know. I’m a huge fan of Diana and God knows how many hours of documentaries, books and articles I have read and collected through the years---either in life or in death of Diana. A part of me wants to see the pictures –maybe because Diana has been so photographed in her life that I want to see that part of her life where not much pictures were seen. But my father’s reaction to the published pictures made me think twice. He thought that it was of poor taste. If Diana did not have peace because of the media surrounding her all the time---the least we should do now is to provide her that in death. At least in death, the privacy she so craved in life could be hers. But then again, that may not be honored now.

Another controversy about pictures this week was the pictures of dead American soldiers in Iraq. The Administration of Bush are afraid and are quite correct that in showing these pictures all that the people could think about is comparing it with the Vietnam War. This proves to say that wars are never right. Maybe now Americans can rethink their position on key global issues. Diplomacy maybe tricky----but have you ever heard anyone die from talking and negotiating? I haven’t. Maybe Bush can figure that one out----but then again, maybe not.

HONOR KILLINGS

I say a documentary by Michael Davie a few years (?) ago about honor killings in Pakistan and today it was replayed again in National Geographic. The first time I saw it I was shocked and I saw the whole thing from beginning to end. For the second time today I saw it again and still, my reaction is the same.

About 7:30 or so tonight I saw it again----same topic---honor killings in Pakistan----but this time in a documentary in Star Asia.

My take on this is simple: There is no honor in killing your wife, or your daughter or your sister. You don’t become more or less of a man. You simply become a murderer, plain and simple.

2004-04-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

Ten for Starters

1. Single or taken? Single
2. Describe yourself in one word? Complicated
3. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? Stretch
4. What's the last thing you do before you go to bed? Turn off the lights
5. Something about you that you're proud of: My no-nonsense
description of my self (return to question no.2)
6. Are you in love? Would I be single if I was? Duh?!
7. What's your mobile number? Give me a wink, a kiss, a smile and a treat…then I’ll think about it….heeee heeee
8. Are you happy? Generally.
9. Why? …Because happiness is a state of being that’s why.
10. What is the most important material object you possess? My books

Have you ever gotten that message or e-mail about how the month you were born says a lot about your personality? This is what mine says:

FEBRUARY:

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and
humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but chooses not to show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

If I was half of any of these traits...I wouldn’t have time to write in this blog. Really!

2004-04-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

KILLERS ON THE LOOSE
in Canada

I was watching this man trying to get down from a boat and trying to get to this baby seal on the ice and I thought, “Oh nice. He’s trying to save the baby seal,”---I thought the man was from Green Peace or some environmental group….NOT! It turns out he was in a hurry to get to the baby seal and whack it’s brains out! My jaw DROPPED! It turnd out that Canada is now allowing the hunting and capture (I’m calling this SLAUGHTER) of seals. The government there says that’s it’s not only good for their economy but for the environment as well…..seriously, who are they fooling? Bastards.

CREEPY CREEPS!

Two things made my spine tingle with the dingle this week...seeing FPJ and Imelda Marcos together in Leyte. Seeing FPJ and his group in the Marcos mausoleum gave me the creeps! Actually it was sad more than anything else. When asked if FPJ will allow the late dictator (and his ninong in marriage) to be buried in Libingan ng mga Bayani....all that he could say was that he couldn't possibly comment on something he didn't know the root and cause of....That was enough to make me not vote for the man.

The other man was seeing the political ad of Jinggoy Estrada with ERAP in that very appropriate barbed-wire/sympathy-crap theme they have going on.

Seriously man, even Jinggoy's smile was so artistahin.

2004-04-07T21:10:00.000+08:00

Where is the Brain?

Isn’t it amazing how people can be stupid sometimes? It’s not that their naturally so, but sometimes they lack in the most basic things of all---common sense. They try to present something like an “invitation”---naturally, you get interested. You respond. Only to find out later that it really wasn’t an invite and they were merely “informing” you. Kaboooze!

I swear…if you can just possibly pull some people’s hair and wring their neck for just a second longer…miracles will happen. I guarantee it!

If not, I’ll pray for it.

Better yet, I'll put it in my wishlist for Santa to grant.

2004-04-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

Summer Boredom

I wake up at around 9 in the morning.
I take a bath.
Read something.
Watch TV.
Play with the dogs.
Lunch.
Listen to music.
Play with the dogs.
Watch more TV.
Go to the Gym or Sleep.
Come Home.
Play with thr dogs.
Eat Dinner.
Watch more TV.
Read Something.
Internet maybe.
Sleep again.

$#*! I'm bored.

Until...friends call up...which is even rare...but then again, their living their own lives...$#@! I hate summer.

2004-04-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

MUSIC AND TEMPERS

Now tell me seriously, which one of us hasn’t seen the famous temper of Presidential candidate FPJ? Hah! Roco was right in questioning “Yan ba ang gentleman?” I wonder if GMA (the TV Station) decides to totally ignore FPJ and Loren Legarda…ala news black out on the two, can you imagine them apologizing profusely to that lady reporter? I’ll bet Loren would come down her helicopter and save her ass in a heartbeat! Talk about saving face! It’s funny that it happened in my little town of Iloilo---with our 1 million possible votes…I wonder?

Anyways, I just brought Bamboo’s latest album and Josh Groban’s latest cd as well. I’m crazy about Josh’s song My Confession…just love it! Every lady should here this from their significant other. Of all the songs from Bamboo, the choice of NOYPI as their first single is the best! The song is tight! The lyrics are great and the elements are just right. I just love hearing Bamboo singing again. Now my wish is that the group could come here in Iloilo….you might just see me screaming in the crowd….he he he

EMAIL OVERLOAD

Ok, I just signed up in Bamboo’s yahoo group and made a little comment in their site. Never thought about it again until I just opened my mail…Whoa! Talk about a response! For the first time in my life I exceeded my mail limit in yahoo! Just in 4 to 5 days of being incognito on the net! (My parents were starting to complain of the many hours I use the net.) I’ll read them all people! Wait for my responses.

BAR EXAM RESULTS

Every law student that takes the Bar Exams wants to see their names listed of those who passed the Bar. Today was that day for those that took the Bar last year. Out of 5,000 students about 1100+ passed. Tough!

To those who passed….CONGRATULATIONS!
REALITY CHECK: Start looking for a job! Start paying your student loans and if you’re parents are paying for everything…buy them a ticket for a cruise someday. They would call it even. Ha ha ha ha

One Complain for the Day: My whole body is killing me! After two years of not going back to the gym and practicing my whatever....I'm feeling every muscle group that I forgot existed! Bummer!

2004-03-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

BAMBOO and FREEDOM!

Finally! Yesterday was my last day of school...I'm free! It seems that Boracay will have to wait until after the Elections. Ahahay! But then again I may just miraculously lose some of my excess pounds and deep-seated fear of going underwater by the time Election Day comes. Hyuk! Hyuk!

Anyway, I was in the mall yesterday and I brought a book --Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown....not since reading Sexual Personae by Camille Paglia have I been mentally blown away! A must-read indeed for the summer.

While I was checking out the other books I saw this cover of PULP Magazine, and guess who's on the cover? Bamboo's Back! This aftrenoon I saw them perform in A.S.A.P. and they should have performed solo without that Diether ruining the song...he should have stood at the corner and shut his mouth! Lordy, some people are just born to recite! Amen!

I also got my links right today. So, if you want to be my friend, send me a message in my board. If you're blog is interesting and funny enough, I'll add you up. I'm in no hurry really.

P.S. That Art Bell article I commented before? It turns out the real one didn't wrote it himself! Hah! Somebody must have! Anyway, whoever you are...my comment was for YOU!

2004-03-23T13:13:00.000+08:00

GRADUATIONS AND FLASHES OVERLOADED WITH ELECTION FEVER

Hah! My sister finally graduated from High School and I was the designated photographer and home video woman for this momentous occasion in my sister’s life. It wasn’t so bad, I got back to see my old alma mater and discovered that the church still looks the same; the difference now is that we have better lighting in the room. After the graduation ceremony all hell broke loose inside the Church, kids were screaming and calling out for their barkadas to have that once in a lifetime group picture that will seal the moment of graduation for posterity. It was hilarious even. You’d think that these kids have never been photographed in their lives! But all in all, it was okay.

I was sorting out some of my old papers and I came across some of my research materials in High School when I did a paper about Stoicism as a philosophy And some quotes are still meaningful to me now as they did before almost 5 years ago. Here’s one:

“If you work at that which is before you, following right reason seriously, vigorously, calmly without allowing anything else to distract you, I keeping your divine part pure, as if you might be bound to give it back immediately; if you hold to this, keeping nothing, fearing nothing, but satisfied with your present activity according to nature…you will be happy. And there is no man who is able to prevent this.”
Bull’s Eye!

After Graduation we went to this Hotel in hope that we could eat in one of its Italian Restaurants and who did we come across unexpectedly? A “famous” actor who’s now running for Senator; he used to have a rift with a former President’s son and was recently head of a Board that concerns itself with things of “Pirated” nature. Hak. Hak. He looked tired and it never occurred to me seeing all the bodyguards and big cars near the hotel that it might just possibly be about the Election Campaigns! I must have been “recovering” from all the flashes of my camera. Now I believe the saying that though you may think of yourself as a “Western Fan” of Hollywood stars and all, an artista will always be an artista. You’ll ask yourself later on why the hell did I even do that? Anyway I told my Ma and Pa jokingly that we shouldn’t vote for “HIM” as a Senator since he didn’t even give us a kiss. Hah! A hand shake is something I can get from the Tambays in every corner of the Philippines. Anyways, we’ll see if he will be addressed as his father is being addressed now come Election Day.

FLYERS AND SCREAMERS
It turned out that the President GMA, along with her Senatorial Slate and Bodyguards were in town to campaign. Ilongga Miriam Defensor-Santiago and Ilonggo Franklin Drilon were there. When I turned on the live broadcast, the President was already starting her speech. Too bad I wasn’t able to hear Miriam speak. My father was surprised that GMA could speak almost perfect Ilonggo---if I remember correctly, in one TV Documentary about GMA, it was mentioned that she speaks several Filipino languages and dialects perfectly. If anybody there doubts that there are other “languages” in the Philippines besides Tagalog and English---you’ve guessed wrong. My professor in U.P. said that it is only our colonial mentality that bars our acknowledgement of the fact that we actually do have languages of our own. Ignorance has never been bliss.

CHURCHES AND PRAYERS
If you’re confronted or reminded of something everyday you either tend to be oblivious about it or be aware of it. Everyday when I go to school, I pass by 4 Churches and on the school grounds another Church. I’m reminded of one quote by Seneca:
“We often want one thing and pray for another, not telling the truth even to the gods.”
Tumpak!

IF YOUR HEART CAN GIVE A ONE-LINER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
“I loved not yet, yet I loved to love…I sought what I might love, loving to love.”
Ahahay!

CONTRADICTIONS AND DICTATIONS
Physical attractiveness has been defined as: “That which represents one’s conception of the ideal in appearance: that which gives the greatest degree of pleasure to the senses.”(Hatfield and Stretcher)
RECONCILE THIS WITH
“It is a sign of dull nature to occupy oneself deeply in matters that concern the body; for instance, to be over much occupied about exercise, about eating and drinking, about easing oneself, about sexual intercourse.” (Epictetus)

I prefer the latter one. It’s almost a statement for people with self-esteem issues and for people struggling with weight or excess pounds (HARK! The fat lady spills!). Count me in!

Can you see my excess fat making waves as I run to you? BWAHAHAHAHA! Fats rule! In the dining table, in the kitchen, in the hundred of fiesta menus in the Philippines….Vegetarians are still a breed unique to the Philippines. SLURP!

P.S. I finally saw a replay of Miriam making her speech….damn she’s convincing!
Ahahay!

2004-03-18T10:39:00.000+08:00

BLAHS, FUSES AND BLOWING MY BUBBLES

This is my latest blog after so many weeks of being incognito on my own blog. I was trying to change the look of my blog by getting free blog skins/templates from a website and every time I change my blog--- weird symbols mess up my words. Bummer! After cursing and wasting precious hours on the net I finally gave up. Hay ahay, at least finals is midway through for me. Two more exams and I’m free! Boracay here I come!

The good thing after I returned to regular templates in Blogger, was that I got my first message on my tag board! Ok if that sounds pathetic that’s ok. Apparently nobody ever read my blog besides Jas (who until now is the one and only person out there that posted a comment on one of my blogs) or if there was anybody else, nobody bothered posting a comment. It (tagboard message) was from Sassy Lawyer, and the nice thing was that she greeted me on my recently celebrated natal day. Apparently she read one of the comments I made on one of those blogs by Filipinos on the net-----I don’t know if she agreed with what I wrote or not---but it doesn’t matter. She made my night.

Anyway I was reading her blog and she mentioned about typing “Bangungot ng Bayan” in the Google Search and clicking on the “I feel lucky button”---voila! Hilarious! If this is something, I’d like to construe it as a sign from the heavens. Jinx or somebody’s dark humor…check it out!

Besides cursing on the messed up words I kept getting after changing one after the other of my blog templates (obviously with no success) I read and I read a lot of blogs by Filipinos here and abroad. I don’t know it’s like having an experience of all sorts after reading most of them. Some are simply hilarious, some make you read twice, some make you feel their mental angst, and some makes you feel funny and weird at the same time---- it’s MY version of mental road trip.

After reading and trying to digest the four Geneva Conventions this morning and R.A. 7610, we finally had and finished Natural Law II Human Rights finals exam today. Whew! Then I remembered that we have to make a Memorandum for this make-believe rape case—you can choose if you could be the defense or prosecution---if I had my way, I wouldn’t choose any---I’d rather sit on my ass just reading blogs….but alas, life is not that kind. He He He Anyways, I wouldn’t know how to start S!#$ with this take home paper. I haven’t even attended a single rape case in court---Or any case for that matter. For a law student I know I’m pathetic. I really am. Don’t even doubt.

The one thing that makes me frown and smile at the same time is reading comments about Filipinos written by bone-heads---oh wait, them having bones? That’s too kind a description----Empty Heads is that I wonder if these people actually write consciously (using mental faculties and all? Normally I couldn’t care less about other people’s comments about Filipinos that are apparently and obviously HARRRUMPH! But just in case somebody would post a comment about this one, I’m all for it.

From a friend of mine in Myspace:

THE E-MAIL
Subject: Filipinos.....*make me puke* (Art Bell)

As we've all come to notice, in the past few decades, Filipinos have begun to infest the United States like some sort of disease. Their extensive involvement in the U.S. Armed Forces is proof of the trashy kind of qualities all filipinos tend to exhibit on a regular basis.You can see this clearly by studying the attitudes and cultural Icons of most Filipino Americans.

Origins of Pinoys/Pinays: Are they really asian? Well we've come to accept the fact the filipinos come from a part of the world known as South East Asia. But the term "Asia" is used in the wrong way. You may notice that contemporary Filipino Americans try very hard to associate themselves with groups that we know as Asian.

I cannot count the number of times I have seen a 'Third World' Filipino try to connect
themselves to the chinese or Japanese people. There is no connection and here's why. The Philippines is a Third World country.

Nothing respectable has EVER been created by Filipino people during our entire human history. Young filipino men in America have become obsessed with "import racing". They have an enormously perverted affection for Japanese cars. It's a common phenomenon. In their minds, these Filipinos somehow believe that they are
asian and that it somehow connects them to Japanese people and japanese cars. They often take credit for the ingenuity of Japanese people and say how it's an "Asian thing". This term..."Asian thing" derived directly from African American
slang "black thang". "It's a black thang."

"It's an asian thang." You can see the connection. It's even funnier that, in Japan,
Filipinos are heavily discriminated against. The only Filipinos that can live successfully in Japan are the filipino prostitutes. But that's the case for most Filipino people no matter where they live in the world.

Now we've come down to this fact...and it is a fact. Nothing in Filipino Culture can be seen as Asian. They have no architectural, artistic, or cultural influence which is in ANY way, asian. Thinking of the great countries in Asia such as Japan, Korea, and China there is no way you can possibly connect the Philippine Islands.

This assault by filipino americans to connect themselves with the great peoples of North East Asia is foul and disgusting. Try visiting a young filipino's web site too. You'll see something called the "Asian IRC Ring". It has to do with the chatrooms. The most horrible thing about this is that these TRASHY people are trying to associate themselves with Asia again!! People in Asia don't act like, this at all.

What we are seeing here is the natural Filipino in it's element with full access to technology and this is how they act! You will consistently see this behavior over and over again. Another interesting thing is that these "thirdworld" people also frequent IRC chatrooms such as chinese japan and asian. They must believe that they are some how related racially or culturally to North Asians.

But it's completely WRONG! There might have been some distant contact With China and even less with Japan during World War II, but these people are actually more closely related to african americans and Mexican americans. Do the parents of these young filipinos know what's going on? Would they accept this? I believe that they would and do. This is the natural "Trash"element in filipinos manifesting itself. Nothing good has ever come from Philippines and I don't believe anything good ever will.

Recognizing your Roots (A Message to Filipinos).

To all filipino people: Please recognize your ROOTS! You come from the Third World! You country is a disgusting and filthy place. Most people there live in poverty!

Your culture has MUCH MORE SPANISH influence than chinese, and absolutely no JAPANESE influence whatsoever. People in Japan and China, do not act like you. They do not constantly talk about sex and they have a MUCH HIGHER level of
RESPECT for each other.

There is NO WAY that you can connect yourself to Asia other than location. Your culture and technological advancement does not even come CLOSE toWhat Chinese, people have done in the past and what Japanese and Korean people are doing now!

Everything you do is distinctly filipino. You cannot take credit for Japanese cars, video games, or Hentai! It's not an "asian thing" it's, an "American thing". You have no concept of culture..no concept of asian ideas or asian philosophy! Can you demonstrate how you use Confucianism or Taoism in you everyday life?? You can't. And you will NEVER be able to. I understand that you are trying to create an identity for yourselves as young people... but it is NOT related to Asia. Your Identity is Filipino.

That's all you are. Just Filipino. Think about what that means....

Sincerely,
Art

MY COMMENT: HILARIOUS! SOME PEOPLE'S BRAINS WERE PROBABLY LOST AFTER THEIR MOTHERS DELIVERED THEM. I COPIED AND I POSTER THIS MESSAGE FROM MYSPACE.COM AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT POSTING MY FRIEND’S COMMENT. BUT I WANTED TO ASK HER YOUR PERSMISSION FIRST....AFTER ALL WERE FILIPINOS WITH MANNERS...AND MANNERS ENTAILS A WORKING BRAIN.... HA HA HA HA
Seriously though, if I was anyway near comatose I would still wake up from where I’m sleeping and stand on my own two feet and blow my whistle on Art. Man, some people are so unnecessarily brave to post their opinion on the web---do they really think that no Filipino can get through this $*!#? Art must be a member of the netherworld (it doesn’t exist Art) or for that matter Brains with nothing but Bones---oh wait having bones would be too much---Empty-Heads is more like it. Art, honey WE ARE ASIANS---if that simple fact of geography doesn’t get to you I don’t know what! We’re predominantly Catholic but we have Muslims and other religious groups, including Taoists, etc. We are generally TOLERANT and yes, don’t be surprised, we are a THIRLD WORLD COUNTRY. Don’t be too surprised Art, we are not alone---it’s sad but it’s a fact of economics my boy. And if what pisses and obviously clouds you’re judgment and reasoning is that we are 3rd World----you are living in seashells my boy. Did you even learn World History? If I didn’t take Philippine Literature in College I would have dismissed this “opinion” of yours as crap---but since I’ve been educated let me say this: Art, take a look at your State (I presume you’re an American?!) and I’m quite sure there are a few Filipino professionals in your place, I suggest that you strike up a conversion with any of them.. (This is me talking down on you) Be nice, you might learn a thing or two about history, culture, the arts, literature etc. etc. etc---besides, Filipinos always feel the need to educate the ones that don’t know $#*&! We don’t condemn the man, we condemn their parents for letting loose an ignoramus on the web….BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

2004-02-27T12:45:00.000+08:00

IT’S MY BIRHDAY TODAY!!!!!

Ok, its official I’m 22 today…I don’t know, but this year I don’t feel old (like I used to feel every time my birthday comes up). I received a phone call from Russhel today (who’s birthday is tomorrow!! HAPPY B-DAY!) and she told me she felt sad and old. I don’t know but age is just a number for me now. The feeling I get on my natal day is a reflection of what state I am in emotionally (I guess) on this particular year---and this year, I’m quite okey. I have a new direction in my life (law school) and so I kinda know what I will be doing (boring! he he)and where I will be for the next four years. That’s security for my sanity.

Anyways, birthdays are always nice. People greet you and friends demand a free treat. Hmmmm, when will be the year that somebody would actually give me a surprise part? Ahay… (DREAMY STATE)

2004-02-26T16:43:00.000+08:00

WWW.THESPARK.COM

Here I was surfing innocently when I suddenly (more like an out of body experience/pretending to be interested if I'm dateable and all---kilig) took this Dateable Test in thespark.com

Result: Damn, J-Lo! You are...74%
Meaning: Dateable! Attractive and confident, witty and charming, a healthy ambrosia-based diet... You're wanted in the 48 contiguous states, you slayer. Call me. Seduce me. Make me a man (or woman.) Not only do you know how to turn a guy's (or girl's) engines on, but you also know how to oil, lube and rotate it. You put the "elation" back into "relationship," and the "night" back into "one-night stand."

Reaction: Yippeee! Somebody actually thinks I'm dateable! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

2004-02-25T16:45:00.000+08:00

BLOGGER DECODED!
It turns out I can't win the lottery with this one.

Check out the site: http://www.leatheregg.com/bloggercode/
Decoder:http://travis.kroh.net/archives/blogger_decoder.html

DECODED:
I've been blogging for 1-3 months. I don't own a domain, but I have my own web address. I don't know what a "domain" is, therefore I don't have one. I don't have any links, I mean, why would I want people to leave my site? As far as stats go, I am amazed that someone keeps track of how many people visit my site. I don't link to, nor read, any of the standard A-list blogs (Megnut, Kottke, Robot Wisdom, etc.). In fact, I've never heard of 'em. I try to post once a day, but it doesn't always happen, and that's no big deal. I blog from either home or work, but only after my work is done and when I get some free time. Nearly all the topics I blog are personal experiences or original writing that can't be found elsewhere on the web. I might flirt a little with other bloggers, but anything beyond that is out of the question. I haven't posted, and don't plan on posting, any photos of myself on my blog. Web surveys? Oh, yeah... Hey, did I tell you about the little girl on the bike? There are a few select people I've specifically kept in the dark about my blogging but, for the most part, most people know about it or could easily find it via a web search.

MY OWN INTERPRETATION:
This decoder sucks. I wanted to win the lottery!
By the way, the decoded code is in no way a reflection of me....the only reason why I don't have links coz I'm new with this baby...sobra naman sila! Anyway, what does your code say about you? :-p

2004-02-25T16:13:00.000+08:00

BLOGGER CODE

I was surfing the net and I came across this blogger.code survey or something.
I took it and it finally gave me a code.
The damn thing didn't explain what the whole code meant.
If it turns out that I'm an idiot...I have no one to blame but the idiot that made the code. Bwahahaha!

Here it goes:

My blogger code is:
B1 d- d-- k-- s-- u-- f i o++ x- e- l-- c-

P.S. If anybody can decode this---please do so. I'm lost...wondering...Can I win the lottery with this one? He He HeHe He

2004-02-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

StRiKe DaY 2dAy In iLoiLo
(What’s up with that? Economics baby! Plain and Simple)

I have a Dog
She’s a bitch named Amor.
She’s the kind that never refuses a food offering---
Unless,
Her mother’s (Nike) whack at the back of her neck was too hard to go unnoticed,
Or,
Her “Father” (nobody’s sure) Puma’s growl could actually scare her midway to where the food actually is.
She’s pregnant now.
At least we think so….
Hmmmmmm, shall we all start counting puppy babies?
The countdown starts NOW!

tOp 5 tHiNgS i’D lYk 2 Do ThIs SuMmEr
1. Invite myself to somebody’s dinner party. (This is an open invite/plea.)
2. Get lost in Baguio or Benguet.
3. Get invited to Kawayan’s house/art exhibit/what-have-you (bathroom, sala, closet, studio, bundok, suitcase…ewan!)
4. Learn Japanese (to read classic Japanese lit in Japanese)/Graphic Design.
5. Learn photography from a pro.
ReAsOnS:
1. This might just be possible and possibly the one thing I will actually/can do.
2. Near impossible. Unless somebody invites me. I’d leap at the chance baby!
3. (DROOLING) (GOSH!!) (SOMEBODY PINCH ME!) (LORD, PLEASE NAMAN…I’vE bEeN a VeRy GoOd GiRl AlL mY LiFe!! Hinde po ako nanunumbat lord, humihingi lang po nang pabor.)
4. Impossible. Japanese classes in Iloilo are in….huh? Graphic-desgin? Maybe.
5. By hook or by my mother’s pockets I will do this! On my own if I can.

tOp 10 ReAsOnS wHy I wOn’T LeAvE tHe pHiLiPpInEs JuSt Yet
1. Kawayan De Guia's here. (Do I actually need to explain this?)
2. Politics baby---you have more drama and twists and turns and tears and guns and goons and “trapos” than the Americans can hope for in their considerably “pale” political intrigues----with the things these people can get away with?! Damn!
3. No hiya here---the things people actually do to get their 5 minutes of fame. You can actually write a book about it and get it revised weakly--consistently and more! HAH!
4. Here’s where the punch is---the dramas in people’s lives are amazing! Every street has a character you can’t possibly miss! Every big place has political dynasty and all!
5. Characters on the Loose---Filipinos are, to say the least, never boring. Their lives are—to put it mildly---an interesting mix of hope, pain, poverty, wealth…but more than the individual stories of the people around---the inspiration and the substance is in their character. (We’re Asia’s happiest people….I think so….We were according to a study a long time ago…Can somebody confirm this?)
6. Everyone’s a publicist---including myself. Economy is a fact---not a “concept” and “IT” People are made by attending a few high profile parties…not much there.
7. Food---every region offers a diversity of cuisine---don’t wonder why none of us are ever into being a vegetarian…HORROR OF HORRORS!
8. Kris Aquino---now, now---don’t think that she’s the only character that has ever been controversial in this part of Asia…but you have to admit (don’t be shy)—she’s difficult to forget or for that matter forgive. Forgiving a woman who seems to have it all but the foresight in her lovelife? Hmmmm, I stand to be corrected.
9. Filipino Artists---it’s amazing with the kind of artists we produce…from the writers, artists, musicians and what-have-you…I’m still in awe of their talent. I’m in awe---maybe because I’m not one of them? WAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!
10. The Language---most of us are multilingual. Now please consider local “dialects” as languages. My U.P. Professor in Vernacular Lit told me that ignorance and arrogance are the only reasons why we fail to recognize that some of our dialects are actually languages in themselves. Do the Math.
11. I’m still here. There’s still hope for this country. One dollar-earner in a family is enough to keep this economy afloat. I’m an optimist and a pessimist. So I’m STAYING! Hinde ko pa na me-meet si Kawayan noh! Until then… or if he decides to leave, I’m emigrating to wherever he is….

2004-02-23T14:00:00.000+08:00

UMUULAN ULAN NA NAMAN ANG ULAN
(Being philosophical about the rain---a favorite past time)

It suddenly rained yesterday that my dog Nike, who’s scared of every natural sound on the planet and pissed at every natural man (?) and animal on the street, was scratching at the main door so hard that I couldn’t help but notice it. So I ran from my room and opened the door and there she was—a little bit soaked but obviously happy to see a familiar sight (Is this the part where I’m suppose to rave about my own beauty? Or the lack of it maybe? Nah!). Anyway, to cut a long story short, I stayed with her for a few minutes on the doorway and so we both saw Mother Nature at its best. Considering na mainit ang Pilipinas, I love it when it rains. I can just be lost in my own thoughts (or is it a form of meditation na rin? Just letting you’re mind be free. No thinking involved/meditation?) I remember (I’m sure every regular Filipino kid can relate to this) playing, walking and just plain getting soaked on the streets of what-have-you when I was young that you could almost call it bath-time when it rains---until you realized that you might have a weak pair of lungs that could kill you.

Anyway, back to Nike and me, we were both just sitting on our behinds there on the doorway---so I took off my eyeglasses and with my nearsighted/astigmatism pair of slightly-useless naked eyes I realized that as I may be trying to absorb the essence of rain-watching with my dog (bonding time) that a lot of people might be just be pissed right now. Sure rain-watching is fun—as long as you have a strong bubong and cemented walls---but I wonder if I would feel the same way if my house was a little bit less in structure? Hmmmm…I wonder? Now that’s a thought that needs no thinking-time/think-tanks involved. Just get lost in your own little town/probinsya and you’d find the answer. By the rivers of Babylon---voila! The future of Rizal in the make-shift houses that could almost be Pinoy architecture and design in its form/originality/art in its barest minimum/essentials….The day statistics tell us that things are getting better and no more need for Imeldific cover-ups everytime a swanky foreign-diplomat/world leader comes…then that’s the day I go back to my rain-watching…just soaked up with memories of the time when Nike and I were just sitting on out behinds…taking off my eyeglasses and being grateful that I can still see the rain. BWAHAHAHA!

2004-02-21T21:23:00.000+08:00

Bulaklak----The-Baguio-Fever

Nyehehehe!!!!! Here I am trying to improve the look of my template by trying to add a feature that allows readers to comment on my blog (meron ba?) when I finally found one that gives the 1-2-3’s for free! Anak ng *@#$%&^! I still don’t get it! Anyways, I’ll just spread the news about blog to my ka-friendsters and ask them later on for the drill (actually, por favor my friends in the name of blog—gawin niyo na lang template ko—I’ll send you a kiss na lang! he he). For now—wala lang.

Uuuuy! Happy Festival to all the people of Baguio! Wish I was there. Funny, I was watching the news (with my sked that’s rare) and I saw these kids freezing while dancing on the streets of Baguio. I don’t know but the sight of those poor, drenched, freezing and obviously-pissed kids amused me (at first) more than any other emotion. They look like they’re having a hell-of-a-time (literally) but still with their Baguio (or is it Benguet?) flowers intact. He he he Is this where the cliché “The show must go on”-crap sets in? He he he Wawa naman ang mga bata---but seriously though, pneumonia is not something you can laugh about---As that famous commercial boldly admits-the-Philippine-reality/fact/realidad--- “Sa Panahon Ngayon, Bawal Magkasakit.” You’d be sent out the hospitals the moment they find out you can’t afford the best baby. Hmmm, has anybody heard of umbrellas lately? He he

Oh yeah! One more thing! (It’s not exactly more…come to think about, it’s not anything!!) Special Mention na lang kunwari: I couldn’t help but notice the Senatoriables/Candidates for the next Election in the streets of Baguio….hanep, no need to go to my little town folks! Sikat na sila sa TV commercials and News-coverage pa lng…Let’s vote! Who’s the best dancer? ….Hmmmm, I wonder---anong flower kaya and nire-represent nang bawat kandidato? Is it the blooming–kind? The scented-kind? The wilting ones? Or the smelly ones? Na na na na na ---mabaho ba dito? HYUK HYUK

P.S. Sorry about the fire that razed the house of Kidlat and Kawayan De Guia. Saw it on TV--sayang...but hey! Maybe this is the Higher Being's way of saying that we all need new beginnings this year huh?! I know it sucks.
May the good spirits bless you in all four directions. Good luck on the new house. Hey, maybe the next time I drop by in Benguet it'll be finished na? Hope so :-)

2004-02-21T20:03:00.000+08:00

Me, Myself and I

I’m pretty much a self-aware person to say a few things about myself. But I also normally frown at the idea of “Please describe yourself”, but then again, I usually don’t have a choice.
First things first, I’m a Pisces. Now you ask, what’s importance of that? Not much. I just thought that would save me a few spaces in my blank computer screen (he he he). I’m the eldest, and so usually I get the first-hand and front-seat view of “possible consequences speech” of my parents. I’m the kind of child that always has to report of my whereabouts. I would probably be still asking for permission (and money) for the rest of my life. But then again, don’t think that I don’t have a mind of my own. I don’t shrink in expressing my views, and more often than not, my disgust.
If there’s one thing that U.P. gave me, it’s to be critical of things. One of my favorite professors in U.P. told us never to be satisfied with mediocre work--at first I though that she was referring to our production work. But since then, I’ve learned that it was a life lesson.
If I start on something, I like to finish it; if not in the most efficient way, at least in the respectable way that I can. I like things that demand my undivided attention and I don’t like waiting for anything (unless I really, really, desperately have to). If I can’t get it, I ask someone. I don’t plan to make the same mistakes as others to learn life lessons--because by then I’d be too old. I’m too young and to scared of having early life wrinkles on my forehead to be burdened by life’s tragedies.
If someone tells me to do something I’d do it. If I can’t I’d say so. I’d rather pass the job to someone who can, than see my name attached to a mediocre and embarrassing work. I think I’m brave enough to admit what I can and can’t possibly do.
But then again, I also like to test myself. I start having this internal debate with myself and I start asking, “Can I? Would I?” In doing something, what intrigues me first, is the possibility that I can. Sometimes though I do need a little bit of convincing and support—and when I say “Why the heck not?” I tend to deliver.

*This was something I wrote trying to get into a school paper or something--never heard from them again---so why waste a perfectly good sentiment? Blog na lang!

2004-02-15T14:34:00.000+08:00

The Voice in My Head

What's the one thing that pisses me off the moment it comes up? Oh yeah, the curtailment of my right to choose.
Good lordy, I don't want to ruin my life---so give me a break----give me the right to choose if I want to attend your party or not!...Man! It's not like I'm going to be missing anything right?
Korekekek?